


Crimes of Passion

by DeadPoetLives



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Drug Addiction, Eventual Romance, M/M, Mpreg, Murder, Past Sexual Abuse, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Slow To Update, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-02-09 08:10:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1975506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadPoetLives/pseuds/DeadPoetLives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being rescued from years of torture by the hands of Cross Marian, Allen Walker is free again and after while he befriends a cop, a druggie and a serial killer. Kanda is trying to put himself back together after the sudden death of his husband and child, while Lenalee has her eyes set solely on him and will stop at nothing to get him, also  while she hides a terrible secret of her own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Present

**Author's Note:**

> this story is also post up to chapter 13 on ff.net (LivinWasteland) I hope it does just as well on AO3. I'm still trying to figure this place out. :) hope you enjoy. this first chapter is short so i'm posting 1and 2

Kanda watched as two guards dragged Lavi in, and plopped him in the seat of front of the plexi-glass window, it would be his first time seeing Lavi since he left two years ago after the incident. Kanda picked up the phone and stared at Lavi's emerald eyes waiting on him to pick the receiving end.

"I don't see why you even bother to pick that thing up Kanda, they're gonna hear us either way." Lavi said matter of factly and Kanda, now slightly embarrassed, hung the phone and regained his normal stoic composure.

The silence between the two thickened before Lavi spoke up again, "Well I know you didn't come here to stare at my pretty face, Yuu. So go ahead and ask."

"Why'd you do it Lavi?" Kanda questioned, edging forward a little on the small counter in front of the glass.

"Because I had to." Lavi replied shortly.

Kanda shook his head, "No, that's not good enough for me. You're sitting behind bars for something you didn't do, for something that—"

"That should be blamed entirely on him?" Lavi cut in. "Did you really want him in here?"

"No." Kanda said losing a fight from his voice.

"Then what, Kanda, you wanna trade places with me?" Lavi paused and looked into Kanda's eyes and as dark and as controlled as they were he could see straight Kanda like an opened book. "You feel guilty, don't cha?"

"No!" Kanda said getting defensive, "I just feel like the wrong person is behind these bars."

"That's guilt Kanda, but tell me one thing, what would you or him being in jail change?"

Lavi watched Kanda as he clenched his teeth and remained silent, "That's right Kanda, it changes nothing." Lavi motioned to guards and they came and unchained him from the chair.

As Kanda watched him leave he stood up himself, "Hey! Can you at least tell me one thing?"

The guards stopped tugging at Lavi long enough for him to answer, "What?"

"Where is he? " Kanda asked, and then added quietly, "I miss him."

"You've only been gone two years Kanda things haven't changed; he's at the last place you left him." Lavi responded and disappeared behind the steel door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honest opinions please :)

:: 3 years before the incident:

"Open your mouth." Cross Marian told the nineteen year old, white haired boy he'd picked up off the street a few years ago he had tied to a pole in his basement. The boy refused, turning his head to the side and away from Cross' prying hands. Cross grabbed a handful of boys' thick white hair, "I said open you damn mouth boy!" He yanked the boys' hair even harder bringing tears to his eyes, but still he refused.

"Alright, I guess you still haven't learned like the rest of them." Cross let go of the boys' hair and pulled an electric cattle prod out of his back pocket. A faint plea from one of the other occupants could be heard from the other side of the room not to hurt him, but Cross quickly shut them up by threatening to come over there next. He pressed the button of the side of the cattle prod firing up the electricity inside, "Last chance boy, open up! Don't make me shove it down your throat!"

He could the white haired boys' chest rise and fall rapidly as Cross waved the cattle prod near his face, the boy still would not comply. "Fine. Have it your way." Cross said and struck the boy with the stick and at first strike the boy screamed from the white heat of the electricity and before he could close his mouth, Cross shoved a cocktail of pills down his throat and kept his hand over the boys' mouth until he swallowed.

"Good boy." He said smiling smugly to himself, while he watched the boy leaned up against the pole he was bound to. He looked at his watch and then back at the boy, "I'll be back in thirty minutes gotta get you ready for you three o'clock." And with that Cross Marian went back up the steps leading out of the basement and locked and chained the door behind him.

"Allen, Allen?" an almost childlike voice whispered, "Are you alright?" Allen looked up in the direction of the voice, knowing it was the twelve year old Road, asking of his well being.

"I'm good." Allen said trying to joke, even though apparent tears were still flowing down his face. "Don't you worry about me, I'm alright." Allen could hear her tiny sniffles from the dark corner where she sat chained. "Hey don't cry," Allen said sniffling as well, "we're gonna get out of here one day. I pro—"

"You've been saying that for months, Allen, just give it up. We're gonna die here and you know it. If it's not from being drugged and raped to death then it'll be from disease and starvation. Quit building up false hope." A tired male voice said from the opposite corner of the room, Allen shifted himself around his pole to look in that direction.

"Hey don't be a dick she's twelve! You think she enjoys this shit Krory?" Allen shouted back. Allen's heart seemed to pick up speed and the room was beginning to look fuzzy, he knew his thirty minutes was almost up and Cross would be back soon.

"None of us enjoy being molested Allen, I'm just stating mere facts. We're all gonna end up like that Miranda woman." Krory said.

"What happened to Miranda? Allen told me Master Cross let her go." Road piped in.

"He did." Allen said quickly trying to cut off Krory.

"No he didn't Road, listen to me. MasterCross had Miranda killed. She was beaten to death and thrown away just like we're gonna be soon." Krory said not being effected by Road's uncontrollable tears and pleads to stop.

"Krory…" Allen began but he felt out of breath, "shut the fuck up!" Allen was breathing harder now and he knew it wouldn't be long before he got lost in the high and, if he was lucky, passed out.

"Why Allen? What's the point in being optimistic about this?" Krory instigated. Allen paid him no mind he was too busy trying to keep his eyes open, yet Krory continued any way. "That's right Allen none, there's nothing to stop him from coming down those stairs and bullet in between my eyes!"

"That's not such a bad idea, Krory." Cross said as he stalked past a barely awake Allen towards Krory brandishing a small pistol, "Not a bad idea at all, in fact…why don't I just do it now!" Cross smiled as he place the gun to the boys forehead.

"No w-!" Cross fired three rounds into Krory's head, then tucked the gun into his waist band and walked over to a now slumped over Allen, starting to unchain him.

"Master Cross…?" Road's barely audible and tear filled voice called.

"What?" Cross answered as he lifted Allen on his shoulders and began to walk up stairs.

"Are you going to kill me too?" Cross stopped at the top of the stairs and looked back down at the little girl with dark ashen skin. "Are you going to shoot me too?"

Cross laughed a little as he walked out of the basement and shouted back down before he closed the door, "Yes."

::..::..::Just Outside Of Cross' House::..::..::..::

"There's more movement in the house, I think he's got one of the victims." The sniper stated through the radio to Kanda, the officer in charge at the scene.

"What about the other men in the house?" Kanda questioned, there was silence before the sniper spoke again, they're following Cross to the back of the house and that's where I lose visual sir."

"Dammit!" Kanda said throwing his headset down, he sighed heavily before he picked it up again, "Okay listen, I need you and your guys to cover us. We're about to go in."

"We're ready when you are sir." The sniper replied.

Kanda shut off the headset and turned to face to other dozen or so men around him, "We might not have that much time, so we have to be quick here. No one else needs to get hurt." Kanda picked up a bullet proof vest, and began to bark out orders, "You three are with me, and you six split up and cover the front and the garage door. The rest of you find a way into that basement from the outside."

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Cross had finished tying the unconscious boy to the bed face down and turned to the other two men in the room.

"You two get an hour a piece, and I don't care how you spend it. Just don't kill the boy, well not at least until I can get a new one." They all shared a group laughed and Cross left one of men in the room with an incapable Allen, while the other one followed him out.

One man with a graying beard and a beer gut approached Allen and ran a hand lovingly down Allen's torso and his limp member, where he picked it up and stroked it a couple of times. He reached beside the bed and picked from one of the many bottles of lubricant and began to squirt it all over Allen. Dropping the bottle to the bed, the Man took off his clothes, mounted Allen and began to rub the oil into Allen's back.

He rubbed it all over the day old whip marks on his back and alongside the burns from the cattle prod before he started to massage Allen's ass. He poured more oil into the palm of his hand and let it drip down between ass, then massaged the remainder of it onto his own cock. He positioned himself right at Allen's entrance and plunged in. The older man moaned at Allen's tight heat and went deeper.

The body beneath him shook and though the boy was unconscious to the world around him, tears were coming out of his eyes. The Man quickly came to his climax inside Allen and decided he wanted more, he unraveled a bit of the rope that held Allen to the bed and sat in front of Allen's head, prying open his lips with his still oil finger and placing his member inside Allen's mouth. As the Man thrust inside of Allen's mouth, Allen's began to choke and wheezed, but the Man didn't pay any mind to it.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

"ALRIGHT! GO! GO! GO!" Kanda said after he'd kicked in the back door of Cross' house and rushed in ahead of his team.

"Hands up where I can see them pedophile!" He shouted as he came around the corner at Cross who had been currently headed down into the basement, gun in hand. Cross bolted down the stairs into the basement. "I've got him," Kanda told his team, "go look for others."

"Cross you sick son of a bitch, I gonna put a bullet in fucking skull!" Kanda shouted as he made his way slowly down the stairs. "Where the fuck are you?" Kanda looked all around at different makeshift beds and chains and collars hanging off poles. As he walked past one bed he saw Cross arm across a little girl's neck and a gun to her head.

"I will shoot her fucking brains out officer, if you don't go back up those stairs and let me go peacefully." Cross threatened as Road cried irrepressible tears.

"PLEASE DON'T LET HIM KILL ME!" she begged.

"I won't sweetheart," Kanda promised and trained his gun on Cross' head. "Let the girl go Cross and I might just let you live."

"HA! Yea right!" Cross put his finger on the trigger, "Last chance officer." He smiled.

"Please!" Road begged, "I don't wanna die!"

"PUT THE GUN DOWN N-!" Cross' shot Road in the head and without thought Kanda empty all of his round into Cross' head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tried to catch all the errors the rest of the story is also on FF.net LivinWasteland is my name.

The next day

Kanda had slept in the waiting room of the hospital after they'd booked and processed one of the two other men found at Cross' house, and cleaned up the scene and blocked it off from suspicious neighbors. When they'd brought the young man in that after noon he'd gone into cardiac arrest from the lethal cocktail of drugs in his system and the doctors had to resuscitate him a number of times before he'd become stable enough for them to pump his stomach of all the pills. He talked to numerous doctors since he'd return from the police station all denying him access to the victim after they'd moved him out of the ICU into a different room claiming that he still needed rest and time to adjust. Kanda figured they knew what was best but that young man was crucial to the case and he needed a statement from him before something else happened to him.

Finally around noon, a young nurse told Kanda he could visit the young man and lead him towards the victim's room. He walked inside of the room and saw a doctor standing over him, he rapped on the door to alert the doctor of his presence,

"Is this a bad time?" Kanda asked as he quietly shut the door behind him, while the doctor continued looking over the sleeping man.

"Oh, not at all, come in. I was just checking up on him." The doctor said as he continued to scribble on his clipboard. As Kanda moved to the opposite side of the room he stared at the pale body in front of him, noticing how all the bruising around his neck and on his face seemed to be brighter than they were when they brought him in; as if the fluorescent lights bleached out any remaining color out of the man, besides black and blue.

"How is he?" Kanda whispered eyes still taking in the appearance of the man before him.

"He's better… breathing you know?" The doctor said as he closed the clipboard before him and tucked it under his arm, "That's just about all you can ask for when something like this happens."

Kanda nodded in agreement, "I'm sorry to ask but are you family?" The doctor asked.

"Oh…um no. I'm with the police department." Kanda said fishing out his badge and flashing it to the doctor. "Officer Yuu Kanda."

The Doctor squinted his eyes as he read the badge and proceeded to shake Kanda's outstretched hand.

After all acquaintances had been made, "Tell me," Kanda began, "what exactly are we dealing with here?"

"This kid…he's been through hell from what I can tell." The Doctor sighed as he opened the file inside the clipboard and began to recount the injuries the boy sustained, "From just the rape kit that we did, he's got multitudes of scarring. Some have healed, others just look too painful to touch, and from what I saw he had either an infection or an allergic reaction to whatever they were using as a lubricant. On his back," The Doctor took out a photo and handed it to Kanda, "there's collective scarring from what appears to be marks from an ordinary household clothing iron and then you have these other marks that are almost consistent with either a stun gun or a cattle prod seems like." With a disgusted look his face Kanda handed the photo back and the Doctor brought out yet another photo handing to Kanda.

This photo was a full body shot and Kanda's anger grew the more he stared at the photo, "Was he starved? He looks so thin here."

The Doctor nodded solemnly, "It's a wonder he or those other two lasted as long as they did. God rest their souls."

"We contacted the parents of the deceased, they should be here soon to identify the bodies and fly them back home." Kanda told the Doctor, while he continued to stare at the horrific photo before him.

"And what about him?" The Doctor asked taking the photo away from the officer, "Have you gotten in touch with any of his family or friends?"

"No, there's no trace that he has any family at all." Kanda said sympathetically. "The only reason we knew he was missing in the first place was because saw woman saw him get snatched off the street by a man fitting Cross' description."

"Well he can't stay here forever Officer, he's got to have some place to go." The Doctor spoke, "Where was he living before he was kidnapped?"

"From what I was told by witnesses and others, he would move in and out of shelters or halfway houses. He'd stay one or two nights then leave again, and always under a false name so I'm not even sure what exactly his name is." Kanda stated.

The Doctor let out an exasperated sigh as Kanda turned to leave the room, "I'll try and pull some strings, see what I can do. Just keep me posted on his condition Doc."

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Back in the lobby of the hospital Kanda called every contact in his phone that dealt with social work, he searched a nearby phone book for listings of various foster care organizations asking, practically begging if one of them could take him in, yet they all gave him different variations of the same response, 'He's just too old.'

With an aggravated sigh Kanda hung up from his latest rejection and returned the phone book back to the front desk. He stood in the lobby contemplating on what to do and who to call next, searching through the various contacts in his phone he ran across one that he hadn't tried.

"Hello!" a rushed voice answered on the second ring.

"Lenalee?" Kanda questioned.

"Yeah, Kanda what do you need?" Lenalee asked, "You're gonna have to talk fast, my next patient comes in fifteen minutes and he's a real basket case."

"I need a place to stay—"

"Oh! You're always welcome at my place!" Lenalee cut in.

"Not for me, for the victim of my latest case." Kanda told her.

"Ok, how old are they?" she asked.

"Nineteen almost twenty…"

There was a pause and the faint click computer keys in the background, "How's is the victim's mental stability?" Lenalee inquired.

"I don't know." Kanda answered.

The tapping of the keys stopped, "What do you mean you don't know?" she said.

"Well, when we got to him he was out cold, and as far as I know he's still unconscious." Kanda told her while he paced the lobby.

Lenalee let out a loud sigh, "Well can you give me anything to go on as to what happened to him?"

"In a nutshell, he was abused for a long time, physically and mentally." Kanda replied shortly.

"Okay then," Lenalee said, "the best I can do for him, and keep in mind I'm a psychiatrist not a social worker, is this place called 'The Order' it's like a half way house for recovering drug addicts and the abused, they offer counseling and will help him get back on his feet and as well adjusted to life as they can get him. How's that sound?"

"Temporary, but it'll do for now." Kanda commented.

"Alright, let me know if you need anything else. Perhaps in exchange for this information, you can do me a favor."

"Like what?"

"We'll see." With said Lenalee hung up leaving Kanda holding phone looking perplexed.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Allen could feel the man's groping hands trailing up and down his body, he could feel the man's long hair tickle his back and his alcoholic breath scorching the nape of his neck while the man slid forcefully in and out of him. Allen's body jerked in response to the man furiously pumping his member bringing him and the man atop of him to their climax. He felt the cum and blood ooze out of him and slide between his legs as the man pulled out and flipped Allen over so that now he could grind against Allen's cock, "Not bad for your first time kid, I think a few more rounds with me will have you broken in, huh?" Allen refused to open his eyes as he laid there shivering and crying as he suffered through another ordeal of sex with the man who kidnapped him. After the third time he'd been brought to his climax and was physically drained, he opened his eyes to find the red headed man staring back at him. The red headed man reached out a hand and wiped the side of Allen's face, "What are you crying for kid, no one will even miss you. Hell, I bet no one even knows you're gone."

The red headed man laughed and slid out of bed slipping into a pair of loose boxers, "Time for you to meet the rest of the family, come on and get up."

As hard as Allen tried, he could not move from the waist down, he felt paralyzed and terrible burning sensation if he even twitched his leg. "I said get up boy!" the man shouted.

With a raspy voice Allen begged the man to help him, but instead he grew angrier and walked over to Allen picking him up by his hair and pulling him out of bed.

"Rule number one, when I say move boy I mean now." The man hissed into Allen's ear before throwing against the wall…

Allen found himself lying on an immaculately clean and cold floor; he immediately stood up and gazed about the room he was in. He attempted to walk towards the door leading out but found himself stopped by the tug of the wires and tubes attached to him and the numerous machines behind him. Without a second thought Allen snatched the wires and tubes from his body and kept going for the door. Even at the sluggish pace he moved, his abdomen and legs still felt sore, along with sharp pains coming from his back and ass. He felt like an old man as he pressed one hand to his back for support and he headed out into the hallway.

Allen stood in the midst of the hall, trying to figure out which way to go as he watched nurses and doctors excuse themselves and pass by him. Finally Allen made a decision he was going to head towards the lobby and work his way from there.

::..::..::…::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..

Kanda still paced the lobby as he tried to come up with ways to the victim questions in the least offensive or upsetting way. As he double back by the front desk for the umpteenth time, Kanda saw the victim he'd brought in yesterday after noon limping in his direction.

'What the hell is he doing up? Should he even be moving?' Kanda thought as he began a slight jog towards the boy, "Hey! Hey kid!" Kanda shouted across the lobby and watched the boys' eyes widen as he saw Kanda towards him. "Come here!" Kanda continued to shout, but boy started to run towards the open elevator at the end of another hall.

"Hey! Don't run, comeback!" Kanda yelled yet again as he began to chase the boy down the hall hoping to catch him before he could slip inside; but as Kanda finally caught up to him the elevator doors had already shut. Kanda looked at the map beside the elevator, seeing what floors it went to and then back at the screen above it. The elevator was headed down and the only thing underneath the hospital was the morgue.

::..::..::…::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..

Allen hopped off the elevator, still running despite the searing pain flowing throughout his body. Allen slowed down once he realized how dim it was and that it made him remember that it was this same darkness down in the basement where'd he'd spent the last few months of his life. He continued walking down a long hallway it seemed like until he came to an area that was slightly brighter than the rest of it. He could hear voices talking, someone was crying.

"I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Kamelot, but she was dead before the paramedics arrived. There was nothing we could've possibly done to save her." One voice spoke in a formal tone.

"But she was my baby, my only child. Do you understand that doctor?" A shaky male voice said sounding a bit tense. The woman continued to weep, and mumble a name, but Allen had to move closer to hear it clearly. The sobbing continued and the doctor continued to offer his condolences and the voice of the husband continued to try and sooth the woman. "Why did this have to happen to us!" She cried loudly, "Why'd he have to kill my baby Road!" she practically hollered.

Before Allen could think properly, he rushed into the room, "Road! Road's dead! She can't be!" Allen screamed.

"I'm sorry but who are -?" the doctor said but Allen brushed past him and closer to the sheet covered body on the table.

"This can't be her, this can't be Road, I was just talking to her the other day!" Allen began to cry, " I promised her we would get out of there and everything would be alright! This isn't her, it can't be!"

"Wait boy don't!" The doctor shouted but was too late. Allen whipped back the sheet covering the body and almost instantaneously vomit on the cold floor after he barely caught a glimpse of the missing side of what use to be Road's face. The wife went into hysterics as Allen shakily held onto the table forcing himself to look at the intact part of Road's face, but instead all he saw was a crater where the other half of her head should've been. Allen could see the remainder of and eye socket and charred looking flesh hanging off the other side of the table. His stomach lurched yet again and emptied it contents once more. Instead of lifting up by his own hands this time he was grabbed by the collar of his hopistal gown and face to face with Road's father, "What do you mean you just talked to her! Were you there?" he screamed in Allen's face.

Unable to answer the man for fear that he would throw up again Allen remained silent.

"WERE YOU THERE! ANSWER MY GODDAMN QUESTION! WERE YOU THERE?" Road's irate father shouted again, Allen nodded and before he knew what had happened, he was thrown to the floor and Road's father was on him keeping him pinned to ground as he smashed his fist into Allen.

"Stop it honey, stop it!" his wife shouted at him, the doctor attempted to pull him off but was knock back onto the table that held Road's body.

"How could you let this happen to her? You were there, why didn't you save her!" The father continued to bash Allen's face in. Allen felt the snap of his nose, when it was hit for the third time and hollered out in pain for the man to stop.

"Why should I stop?" Road's father wrapped his hands around Allen's neck and began to press down hard. " You should be dead not her!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again tried to get the errors :)  
> Livinwasteland FF.net   
> it's up to chapter 13 on there.

The next day cont. (from chapter 3)

…"Why should I stop?" Road's father wrapped his hands around Allen's neck and began to press down hard. " You should be dead not her!" …

Allen thrashed about underneath the weight of Road's father on top of him, he scratched at the man's strong hands as they grip his neck tighter. The wife's screams along with the frantic calls for security by the doctor began to merge into one as he began to fade from the light.

'He really wants me dead…' Allen thought as his blurred vision caught the twisted and pained expression of the man atop of him and as his body began to weaken.

"Honey please!" screamed the wife running up behind her husband only to have him shove her off the first time, the second time she grabbed at the arms strangling the boy beneath him.

"Let go!" she tugged at him.

"Back the hell off!" he snarled at her and threw his arm back slapping her against the metal edge of the autopsy table, screaming as the edge cut the side of her head and slumped down on the floor. Hearing his wife's scream stopped Road's father in mid swing; he released Allen's neck and rushed to her side, wiping blood and apologizing as he did so.

Allen choked back to life, taking in big gulps of air as he got his bearings. The doctor who he'd forgotten was in the room rushed to his side and helped him up, urging him to get out while Road's father was thoroughly distracted. Dizzy from the lost of blood from his broken nose and innumerable blows to the head, Allen staggered towards the double doors he'd burst through not thirty minutes before.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Kanda saw the elevator wasn't going to return to his floor anytime soon, so he searched and found a flight of stairs that headed down towards the morgue. Once he got going on the staircase he was practically running down them, jumping from one landing to the next; unable to pinpoint the reason he felt bothered about going down there. Coming around to the final flight Kanda saw the boy he chased in elevator kneeled at the base of the staircase, a bloodied hand pressed to his face and eyes looking glazed and through him as he called down to the boy.

"Damn kid…" Kanda swore under his breath as he hurried down the rest of the steps to help him up.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

"I shouldn't have acted that way, I know it was wrong to attack that boy but you have to understand , I just wasn't in my right mind at the time." Road's father said as he held his wife close to him while they walked towards the elevator. "I mean I just found out that my only baby girl is dead, gone, shot to death by a child molester and-"

"I did too, but you didn't see me choking the life out of a man for no reason." His wife cut him off quietly. " Your actions were unjust and uncalled for Sheril, he was in the same situation Road was and you didn't stop to think about how he must have felt, did you?"

"Why should I have to? It's not his child tucked away in a drawer for further examination is it?" Sheril said dropping his arm from his wife's shoulder. "Tricia I can't believe this!" he said with disgust in his voice, "You're actually defending him! He was the last person to see her alive he-" he shouted as he watched his wife walk ahead of him.

" He was a victim too! It wasn't entirely his fault!" she said angrily while punching the elevator button hard.

"Because it wasn't entirely his fault?" Sheril mimicked, "Then whose fault is it? Because if you're going to point blame then you have no reason to talk!"

The elevator chimed as it reached the floor and opened its door, but it went on unnoticed by the arguing couple as did the shouts from behind them to hold the elevator door.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

"Hold the door!" Kanda shouted to the couple standing at the elevators opened doors as he cradled the boy in arms and moving as he possibly could. The boy moaned in his arms as he head bobbed up and down from Kanda's stiff run.

"…you have no reason to talk!" the man yelled at the woman as they continued to standing in the morgue's hallway.

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean Sheril?" she yelled back.

"AY! Don't let the doors close!" Kanda shouted, to them hoping they would listen but they continued arguing and the elevator closed its door and went back up. "Damn it."

"It means you sat on your ass all day and drank yourself to shit without paying attention to my baby girl.!" Sheril roughly grabbed the woman's shoulder.

"I only drank because of you!" she spat back, malice clear in her voice.

"Bullshit Tricia you drank because you wanted to! Because you never loved her the way I did!"

"If I loved her the way you did, I'd be in jail with the rest of the sick fucks that have sex with their baby girls; Which is exactly where you belong Sheril, in jail. You're no better than the motherfucker that shot her! At least he put her out of her misery!" she screamed at him.

"You shut you filthy fucking mouth! You know nothing about me and Road! You don't understand the bond we shared!" Sheril shouted and back slapped his wife to the ground.

Kanda sat the boy upright against the wall and he prepared to intervene the impending fight. He began to slowly take his gun out of the holster.

Sheril went to pick his wife up by her throat, "What…you wanna choke… me too?" Tricia said through the gasps of air she could still take. As Sheril reared his fist back for the punch he felt cold metal pressed to the back of his head.

"I'd advise you to get your hands off the lady and hold them up in the air or I can start painting this room with your blood." Kanda said making sure the man could hear the click of the guns' safety being removed.

"And if I don't?" Sheril tested.

"Consider yourself as good as dead." Kanda replied.

"That bastard doesn't deserve death, it's much too kind." Tricia said cling onto the wrist that held her aloft. Sheril slung his wife at the wall and before he could even begin to run in the opposite direction. Kanda shot him twice in the back.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

"Welcome to hell ladies and gentlemen, a place of sex, starvation and drug abuse. I'm Krory, I'll be your host for tonight." The boy chained to the wall by his neck said to Allen after he was freshly chained, naked and in pain from his latest session with 'Master' Cross.

"In the lightweight corner, we have Road Kamelot, a prime choice among the older pervs." As much as it sickened him to think about it, Allen knew exactly what Krory meant and he turned his attention towards the little girl strapped to a bed opposite Allen.

He wanted to throw up as he looked upon her, the bastard had her dressed up like a little doll.

A murderous scream could be heard from upstairs, "In the ring tonight my dear audience," Krory continued, "We have Lady Miranda, quite the screamer isn't she?"

"Shut up." Allen growled growing furious with Krory nonchalant commentary, he barely even knew this man and he could tell he wasn't going to like him.

"Ahhh, the rookie speaks, and what exactly do we call you rookie? Should it be teachers' pet? Because you spend an awful lot time with the ' Master' himself."

Allen rolled his eyes, then Road began to speak, "Don't mind him, it's just the way he copes." she said smiling a little showing off her busted bottom lip.

"So what is rookie? What do we call you?"

"I'm -

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

"Allen? Allen Walker, can you hear me?" Allen found himself being shaken gently by a woman with long dark hair who stared down at him with a bright smile plastered to her face.

"Good, you're awake." she said pressing a button on the side of the bed that lifted him up to a sitting position. "Okay Allen, my name is Lenalee and I'll be sort of like your case worker for now." she held her hand out to Allen who just continued to silently stare at her.

"Alright then," she pulled back her hand and replaced it with a notebook, and flipped a couple of pages in it, "In two days Allen you will be removed from this hopsital and placed in the care of 'The Order', which is a halfway house for people who have been in similar situations. You don't have to worry about medical bills, the state's paying for that and as for the meds, they have those at the order which they give out on schedule. All you have to do is get some clothes and then your all set." She finished with a smile that Allen found sickening.

Lenalee sighed and sat on the bed with Allen, "You know I'm not just your case worker, I'm also a psychiatrist and I can help you with what you're going through."

Allen just wanted her to leave before she started her 'I understand you, I'm here for you' crap. He reached over to the bedside table and picked up the ice water that was melting in the afternoon sun. He took a sip of the water and quickly swished it around in his mouth, drowning out the sound of Lenalee's voice.

"I know that this may not be what you want to hear," she told him placing a hand on his leg, " but getting raped wasn't your fault, you didn't ask for it."

(Yea it was, Allen thought, 'I was the who walking alone at night, vulnerable and weak. I was the one who got in the car. Not you.)

Also you can't blame yourself for the death of others, you can't control the outcome of everything. The little girl(Road)who was killed by Marian (Master) Cross, was not your responsibility (she was). You cannot blame yourself for it(I can), try and think about it this way Allen, the little girl (Road) is most likely at peace now. (That's a damn lie she lived miserably and she died the same.)

Allen continued to sip and swish more water around in his mouth, he'd now grown tired of seeing Lenalee, of hearing her cheery voice and smile and without a second thought Allen spit the water in Lenalee's face and said only two words, "Get out."

"Ugh!" Lenalee howled in disgust as she stomped out of the room, "I'll be back in two days you animal. Hopefully you'll have some manners then.

'A smile is only temporary.' Allen thought as laid back down in his bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is updated to chapter 16 on ff.net just thought I should let you know.... I honestly forgot I posted it here. 
> 
> LivinWasteland is my name.

::Present Day::

Standing beside his truck, Kanda smoked his cigarette staring the two story home before him. He sighed as he threw the butt of the cigarette to the ground, stepping on it as he walked towards the door. After he'd knocked on the door, he waited. Kanda glanced at the gray clouds above him signaling the impending storm,

"Kanda? Is that you?" Kanda whipped his head back to the door and saw the same thin frame of the man who'd met him at the door only 3 years earlier. He still wore the same white hat and suit ensemble, but now his once jet black hair contained small tints of gray. "Lavi phoned me from the prison telling me you'd be here and also he wanted me to tell you try again. He isn't here."

Kanda nodded, and muttered a thanks along with other miscellaneous small talk before he turned to leave, "I'll be in touch, Komui."

"Kanda, I've wanted to say this since that night, but I don't blame you at all." Komui said to Kanda's turning back.

"What about Allen? Do you blame him?" Kanda asked and at the extent of Komui's silence and the click of the door, he expected that he did. Kanda got back in his truck and drove away putting 'The Order' in his rearview mirror for the last time.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::.::

::The Past:

Despite the angry shouts of 'I can take care of myself' back at the hospital, Allen found himself sitting handcuffed, due to many attempted escapes on the highway, in the passenger side of the Kanda's pick-up truck. They'd now come to a stop and Allen took in the sight of the semi-decent two story building before him.

"Well this is it." Kanda said turning off the car and looking in Allen's direction. "It's not much, but it's home until you can find your own."

"I was doing fine before this, and I'll be even better if you let me go and on my way." Allen growled yanking at the tight handcuffs around his wrists.

"Why don't you just try it out?" Kanda said getting out and making his way to Allen's side, "You never know you just might like it here." He added optimistically helping Allen out of the car. Allen shot him a glare while yanking away his arm and stomping towards the front door. Kanda just shook his head and followed behind him, by the time he'd reached the door the caretaker came to the door.

"Ahh! You must be Allen! Welcome, welcome! Step inside. Where are your bags young man?" he said ushering Allen into the house, not paying attention to Kanda coming in behind him.

"I don't have any." Allen replied.

"Oh dear, where are my manners? I'm Komui Lee and this fine establishment is the called 'The Order' -"

"This place is full of everything except 'order' Komui so don't butter this kid up." A red headed boy about the same age as Allen said coming down the stairs, dropping cigarette ashes as made his way over to the two.

Komui sighed and snatched the cigarette away from the man as soon it had touched his lips, "What have I told you about smoking in the house?"

The boy shrugged him off and held out his hand to Allen, "Lavi, and you are?"

"Handcuffed." Allen replied smartly, showing the pair of men in front of him the cuffs snapped tightly around his wrists.

"Oh! Let me get that." Kanda said asserting himself into the situation.

"Kanda, I'd forgotten you were here." Komui laughed, as Kanda fished around his pockets for the key. Kanda muttered 'uh huh' in response, and started to empty his pockets onto the floor.

Lavi shook his head, "What the hell kinda cop are you? Thank God you've never arrested me or I'd probably still be in handcuffs." Lavi pulled a bobby pin from his own pocket and beckon Allen to come closer, "Let me get these off you, or else you'll be here all day waiting on Indiana Jenkins to find the damn key." Allen watched Lavi wormed the pin around inside the key hole, wiggling it until he heard a click and the cuffs loosened their grip on Allen.

"Thanks." he muttered, removing the handcuffs and tossing them to Kanda who caught them with a defeated look.

"Alright then, Lavi how about you show Allen here around, while I catch up with Kanda." Komui suggested, pushing the boys off towards the stairs.

"Yea whatever." he agreed and walked ahead, "You coming or what? I don't have all day." He called back to Allen already a few steps ahead of him.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

"So why are you here?" Lavi asked, opening the door to yet another room to show Allen what it was. "I mean not to be nosy or anything, I'm just curious. You kinda strike me as one of those goody two shoes type of people, ya know?"

"No, I don't know." Allen replied while his thoughts turned to the darks days behind him and put a permanent scowl on his face. Lavi took in the wounded look that appeared on Allen's face and decided to drop the invasive questions and decided to stick more to the general ones as he finished up the upstairs tour.

"So how old are you?" Lavi said asked on their way back down stairs to the room they would both share.

"Nineteen." Allen mumbled in response, dragging his feet behind Lavi.

'Mhm' was Lavi's response and silenced followed them into the room where Lavi pointed him towards a bed near the window, "That is your side of the room, don't let me catch you snooping around my side. You can do anything you want on that side of the room, just don't do it here." He said pointing to the bed nearest the door.

Allen went and sat upon the bed designated as his own and felt the obviously worn, but soft cover.

"Well if there's nothing else, I've gotta go. Extra clothes and towels are in the closet and the bathroom's up the hall." Lavi told him as he left the room.

Just as Allen was about to lay down on his new bed a knock came to the already open door. Allen turned and saw the cop who'd brought him here, "Can I come in?"

Allen didn't reply instead he just stared out the window down into the back yard and the people running around in it.

"M'Kay," Kanda said coming in anyway and walking over to the bed, " Here's my card, the number on the front is for the one at the station, and the one on the back is my cell. Call me anytime you may need me…" Kanda held out the card to the boy who continued to ignore him, "Or whenever you feel the need to talk." he said placing the card on the bed and walking of out the room. After he'd left Allen had picked up the card and placed it in the window sill, then he laid down and stared at the blindly bright blue sky until he found himself dozing off.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Now at home Kanda let down his hair and threw himself upon his couch in frustration.

'Victims are always screaming to be saved, but when you save them they treat you like you're the bad guy. Kanda punched the throw pillow behind him trying to get comfortable. As he stared up immobile ceiling fan, his phone began to ring and he picked it up with out so much as a glance at the caller I.D.

"Kanda speaking." he answered.

"Hey Kanda." a sultry voice on the end said.

Kanda now sat up on the couch, "Lenalee? Is that you?" he asked puzzled. "Why do you sound like that?"

"Ugh! Geez Kanda, it's called being sexy." she said losing the alluring tone to her voice.

"Why?" Kanda asked still a little confused.

"Why what?" Lenalee replied.

"Why are you trying to be sexy? Are you sure you called the right number?" Kanda said and he could almost hear her eyes rolling at him as she let out a laugh.

"Kanda, remember when I told you, you would owe me if I help you out with your case?" Lenalee said turning back on her so called 'alluring' voice.

"Yeah. What do you need?" Kanda said easing himself back down on the couch expecting some small favor.

"For you to be dressed and ready and at my home by eight o'clock." Lenalee rapidly spit out.

Kanda once again shot up on the couch, "Excuse me?"

"You're taking me on a date Kanda." she giggled.

"Why!" Kanda shouted, not intending to sound upset.

"Because you owe me a favor. Besides what's wrong with taking me out for a date, not like we're getting married or anything." she laughed again.

Kanda remained silent on the other end, "Alright, I guess. I'll be there."

She giggled yet again and Kanda hung up the phone, 'What the hell am I getting myself into?' he thought as he went to go get dressed.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Lenalee placed her phone on the table after she'd hung up with Kanda and shook the small mint case in front of her. She smiled as she opened the case and ran her finger through the fine powder that rested inside of it.

Lenalee closed it shut once again and turned her attention to the laptop in front of her and read the page allowed smiling smugly to herself:

"Rohypnol," she began, "Commonly known as a 'roofie' is a date rape drug." She paused and scrolled down then continued reading,

"The effects of this drug can take effect within twenty to thirty minutes and may last for several hours. After one is administered this drug, one can act and appear to drunk. Slurred speech, trouble standing and even passing out are common effects of this drug.

Sometimes after the drug has worn off those effected by it may or may not remember what happened."

Lenalee sat back in her chair after she'd read the last sentence, then pick the mint case up and placed it in her purse, then looked at her phone it was 7:40 Kanda would be there soon. Lenalee walked over towards the mirror by the door checking herself in it and then flipped off the light in her house and waited outside on her porch for Kanda's arrival.


	6. Chapter 6

Allen woke to the chirping of the crickets outside and the pale moonlight bleeding through the window, and to the sound of a snoring Lavi in the bed on the other side of the room. As he sat up in bed, he realized everything in the house was silent, not a sound crept from any where inside. Allen got off the bed and decided that he would relax himself in the shower while no one was awake to bother him with endless questions of why he was staying at The Order. He grabbed a set of towels and some clothes from the closet and tiptoed towards the door, then left out, leaving it open only a crack.

Allen felt along the hallway wall as he made his way quietly to the bathroom at the end of it, once inside he closed the door behind him. He tossed his clothes and towels on the bathroom counter and with as thick sigh he sat down on the toilet and just let his mind wander. He glanced at the empty tub beside him, still glistening with the water from its last use. Allen then looked up at the dripping shower head and involuntarily shuddered, thinking back to the innumerable times his nameless 'clients' wanted him to service them in the shower.

He shook the thought from his head and finally got up and undressed himself. As he pulled his shirt over his head he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and saw the dead look his eyes gave off and the bony appearance his face carried altogether. He tore his eyes away from the mirror and started the water in the tub to flowing as he removed the rest of his clothing. He let the water in the tub near the edge of the tub before cutting it off and easing in the steaming bath.

He let his fingers skim the tiny waves of the ripples he created when he got in and he watched some of the water slosh over the edge of the tub. Allen let his head rest against the back of the shower wall and closed his eyes allowing the hot water to ease his muscles and his mind. He slowly started to slip down the wall and underwater, wanting to immerse himself in the calmness that surrounded him.

'One…two…three…four…five…' Allen counted under the water to himself then came up for air. The cool air hitting his shoulders and face as he came up shocked him, but then he closed his eyes and dipped down once again and began to count once more. 'One…two…three…four…five…' Allen came up once more,

"STAY DOWN!" Someone shouted to Allen and he was shoved back under the water, with a hand clasped around his throat. Allen's eyes couldn't focus on the watery figure that held him down, the same hand that held him down snatched him back up and even the water stinging his eyes didn't keep him from seeing the familiar menacing figure sneering at him.

"CRO-!" Allen choked out before being thrown back under the water, Allen thrashed about and reached out for the edge of the tub, for Cross' arm, for anything he could take a hold of and pull himself up, but the water gave everything around and slippery surface and any attempt to pull himself up was defeated and he could hear Cross' muted laughter lingering above him.

Allen could hold his breath no longer, he felt as if his lungs were about to explode through his chest and he opened his mouth and let in a flood of water, immediately gagging him. He attempted to close his mouth but the water continued to flow even making its way up his nose.

'HELP ME! Someone PLEASE!' he mentally screamed as he began to lose feeling in his body and he vision began to dim around him.

::..::..::..::..::..::...::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Lavi quickly sat up in bed, he could've sworn he heard a scream; but then listening to the stiff silence of the house, he relaxed again and laid back down to close to his eyes. As he laid there, Lavi listened to the whispers of the crickets outside and to some dog barking in the distance, and to the faint sound of sirens and car horns, before his hearing honed in on the splashing of water coming from down the hall.

'Who the hell is taking a bath this late at night?' Lavi thought,dismissing the noise as he turned and adjusted himself in bed. Minutes later the splashing coming from the bathroom continued and Lavi had had enough.

"Can you believe all the noise they're making Allen?" he said sitting up once again and glancing to his new roommate, only to see an empty entanglement of sheets lying in Allen's place. Seeing that Allen wasn't in bed, Lavi got out of bed and an instant feeling of dread spread throughout his body as he left the room and headed down the hall. He reached the door and knocked loudly, "Allen? You in there?"

There was no answer and the splashing of the water seemed to have calmed down significantly, "You make sure you clean up in there when you're done, because no one wants to hear Komui's mouth in the morning." Lavi wanted to turn and walk back to their room, but that feeling that hit him when got out of bed still clung to his bones and he didn't feel right leaving, so he knocked once more.

"Hey Allen, are you alright?" He still received no response, 'Kid is probably embarrassed.' Lavi thought, but yet he continued to knock, "Allen!"

"Allen! You better answer kid!" against his better judgment Lavi twisted the knob and yanked open the door and saw Allen floating just beneath the surface.

"SHIT!" Lavi shouted and reached in and grabbed the boy, pulling out the tub and onto the floor and shouting his name, "ALLEN! ALLEN! GET UP!" Lavi slapped his face a couple of times, getting no response he placed his head to Allen's chest and listened for a heartbeat, hearing none he began to perform CPR. Pushing hard on Allen's lower abdomen then desperately placing his lips to Allen's and blowing hard. After nearly four repeats of that same process Allen inhaled deeply and began to spew water from his mouth, a drained Lavi helped Allen sit up and yanked the towel off the bathroom counted to help dry him off, "What the hell were you trying to do?" Lavi asked throwing on a tired smile. Allen froze at his touch and his voice and looked up at Lavi with clouded eyes as if he'd never seen him before. "What's wrong with you? Are you listening to me?" Allen began to back away from Lavi, " What's wrong Allen?"

"Get away from me!" Allen shouted.

"What? I just saved your li-!" Lavi was unable to finish when Allen shouted at him again and ran out of the bathroom, "Damn it!" Lavi shouted getting up off of the bathroom after Allen, who'd run out into the living room and was headed up the stairs shouting constantly, "LEAVE ME ALONE!" and hurling various objects at Lavi as he went.

"Calm down Allen, it's me, it's Lavi!" Lavi tried to reassure him only to have more things thrown at him. Komui appeared at the top of the stairs just before Allen reached it, "What in God's name is going on out here?" Allen went head first and forcefully shoved Komui out of his way and he looked for a place to hide. Finding nearly all of the upstairs doors locked or the rooms occupied a panicked Allen headed back towards the top of the stairs where Komui still lay in shock as he ran past Komui. Komui yanked his ankle and pulled him to the ground, "Allen just calm down and tell-."

Allen used his free foot to kick Komui in the mouth before getting up and running the down the stairs and straight into Lavi who instantly flew back and landed at the base of the stair case on his arm, breaking it almost instantaneously. Hearing the screams from both Komui and Lavi, Allen's panic state began to worsen and he ran back to his shared room and locked himself inside.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::...::..::..::

The car ride to the restaurant had been uncomfortably silent for both Lenalee and Kanda, small talk littered the fifteen minute drive to the fancy looking place, then stopped abruptly as Kanda parked the car. He sat looking ahead at the dozens of other cars parked around him, then at the building itself and scowled.

"Well?" Lenalee said. Kanda looked over to her, "Aren't we gonna go inside?"

"Yeah." Kanda said dryly as he got out the car and slammed the door behind him, the went to the passenger side and doing the same for Lenalee. As they walked up the restaurant Lenalee glanced over at Kanda , "What's the matter Kanda?"

Kanda grunted in response and kept walking, "If you didn't want to come Kanda, all you had to say was no." Lenalee told him starting to pout.

'Not like you gave me much of a choice is there?' Kanda thought, "I don't mind coming here, it's just that I hadn't been here in so long, I sort of forgot this place."

They'd reached the door and like the gentleman he was Kanda held the door open for her, the waiter that stood at the podium in the main entrance of the restaurant greeted them and showed them to their seats. Once at the table and seated, the silence had crept back in their midst and settled awkwardly between them as they combed through the menu.

Lenalee peered over her menu at Kanda who seemed to be lost in thought, rather than being concerned with the main course.

"What's on your mind?" Lenalee said putting the menu down. "Come on you can tell me, think of it as free therapy." She sipped at her wine as Kanda, folded his menu, "There's nothing wrong with me so I don't think I'll be needing any of your psychiatric help." Kanda responded while also taking a sip of his wine and frowning at its bitter taste.

"There doesn't need to be anything wrong, maybe you just need someone to talk to." she said, then turned her attention back to the returning server and she and Kanda ordered their food.

"I have nothing to talk about." Kanda said to her after the waiter left.

"Sure you do, we can talk about the world and the weather and politics and your late fiancée." Lenalee spoke rapidly in order to squeeze the last statement out.

"Is this what this is then?" Kanda said taking on a more hushed tone than the expected angry outburst. "You just wanted to see if I was still in pain? To see if I still thought about what happened and what could have been?"

Lenalee could hear the defenses climbing around his words and decided to push further, If he's distracted by pain,' Lenalee thought,'then won't notice when I slip the powder in.'

"No, it's just after you buried him and the baby you sort of cut them out of your life, like they never existed at all."

"Well they're dead and it's nothing more to talk about. Here comes our food, can we drop this subject and eat in peace." Kanda readily snatched the plate of food from the waiter before he'd even had a chance to set it on the table. He stabbed angrily at the food before him and shoved it in his mouth while Lenalee picked at hers, plotting new ways to get the drug into his system.

"You know you have to deal with things like this Kanda," she said still trying to open old wounds, "you can't just keep avoiding matters like this."

Kanda ignored her, "Can you tell me what made you fall in love with Al-"

"Don't you dare say his name." Kanda threatened in a low growl.

"Well why did you fall in love with him? Any old woman or man could've given you the family you crave for , so why him?"

Kanda dropped the fork onto the plate and smiled at little, "He was always there, growing up if I couldn't count on anyone, I knew he had my back."

"But you two weren't always happy and even I can attest for that." Lenalee pushed.

"It was like he didn't see things the way I did, he didn't understand-" the ringing of Lenalee's phone, interrupted Kanda's train of thought. Lenalee angrily answered the phone, "Who is this?"

"Lenalee, it's Komui, I need your help. Allen, I think he's having a breakdown or an episode or something!"

"Who is Allen?" Lenalee asked.

"What's wrong with Allen?" Kanda said butting into the conversation,

"Kanda's with you?" Komui said, "Good then you can bring him along."

"Wait's what's going on?" Lenalee asked getting flustered.

"Allen, I guess was taking a bath but Lavi and I are guessing he fell asleep in the tub and nearly drowned. Lavi gave him CPR just before he went A-WOL and he kicked me in my mouth and unintentionally broke Lavi's arm."

"Oh my goodness." Lenalee said, "We'll be right there." Kanda called the waiter over for the bill, paid it and left, driving at top speed to get to The Order. Once they arrived paramedics were already there putting Lavi on a stretcher and patching up Komui's busted lip.

"Where's Allen?" Lenalee asked as she rushed over to Komui.

"He's locked up in his room." Komui said.

"Is he talking?" she asked.

"He was yelling 'go away' for a while, but he seems to have quieted down."

"Okay." Lenalee said and went to the room, knocking softly on the door, "Allen, honey. Can I come in?"

A definite 'no' came from the other side of the door, "I just want to talk, can I please come in?"

Another 'no' denied Lenalee access to the room and she huffed in annoyance, "Look I can't help you unless you let me in." she said through clenched teeth. Silence lingered from the other side of the door, 'I don't have time for this.' Lenalee thought as she started to beat on the door. After several minutes, Kanda came around the corner,

"He's still not out?"

"No, he keeps telling me 'go away'." she said.

"Well why don't we give him time to himself, and he'll talk when he's ready." Kanda said.

"I guess." Lenalee said, "So who's going to be here when he comes out?"

"I'll do it." Kanda answered quickly and Lenalee left it at that and went back to the living room with Komui.

::..::..::..::..::..::...::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

The wee hours had arrived, and Kanda found himself nodding off outside the door on the floor in the hallway, when the door opened a crack. Kanda quickly turned around and looked through the crack at a gray eyeball staring at him, "You're still awake? I thought you were sleep."

Silence. "Can I come in or are you going to tell me to go away too?" Kanda asked trying lighten the atmosphere, while gently pushing on the door and watching the young man back himself up to the bed he had been sitting on the last time Kanda saw him.

"Would you like me to close the door?" Allen remained silent as Kanda slowly shut the door, waiting for any type of sudden outburst. After shutting the door, Kanda began to make his way towards the bed, "May I sit beside you?" Allen back himself farther away from Kanda as he drew closer and Kanda took it as a sign to sit on the edge of the bed.

The two sat in silence for more than an hour before Allen spoke, "He tried to drown me."

"Who tried to drown you?" Kanda replied looking over at him.

"Cross, I saw him in the bathroom and he tried to drown me." Allen said staring out the window..

"That's impossible, Cross is dead. He couldn't have possibly done it." Kanda stated.

Allen whipped his head around to Kanda, "No, it's not impossible, I saw him, I felt him and heard him. He was here and he tried to kill me and-" Allen became quiet again and this time he laid down and face the window.

"And what?" Kanda said.

"I'm scared."


	7. Chapter 7

Continued from chapter 6...

"I'm scared." Allen muttered.

"Of what?" Kanda interrupted, "I told you Marian Cross is someone you no longer have to worry about, trust me."

"I get what you're saying, but I just…," Allen sighed and shifted his gaze from the window he'd been staring out of to the bed covering underneath him, picking at loose threads. "Never mind, you'll just think I'm crazy anyway."

Kanda, still seated on the edge of the bed, looked at the man lying beside him. "No tell me," Kanda pressed, "What exactly are you afraid of?"

Allen remained silent and preoccupied with unthreading the cover underneath him, while his mind went into a tumbling debate with itself, 'Should I tell him?', 'What's there to tell him that he probably hadn't already heard or read in some damn file?' He glanced to Kanda's waiting expression reflected in the glass, 'He probably thinks I deserved it, that maybe I even liked it. Then again-.'

"Allen?" Kanda's sympathetic hushed tone broke into his thoughts, "Is it about the ra-sexual abuse?"

Allen's languid movements came to a halt and his cold stare dissolved into salty tears. Taken aback by the sudden change of emotion, Kanda began to apologize, "I'm sorry that I upset you."

Kanda fished a crumpled napkin from his pocket and offered it to the sobbing man, Allen sat up and took the dingy napkin and wiped his eyes. "You don't have to tell me anything, I'll just go."

Kanda got up to leave and got as far as the door when Allen spoke through the steadily flowing tears, "No, you don't have to leave. Please, stay."

Closing the door back, Kanda walked back towards the bed where Allen now sat up with his legs hanging over the side, and stood beside him. As he looked down at the man, his eyes glanced at the back of his neck where the edges of an oddly shaped scar poked over the collar of the shirt. Without thinking, Kanda reached his hand out to touch it, but stopped himself as Allen's eyes flashed to his and his hand instantly went to his neck, "How did you get that one?" Kanda said, "If you don't mind me asking?"

Allen's gaze returned downward to the floor, as Kanda continued to loom over him waiting for a response, then decided to sit down beside him on the bed. Allen opened his mouth to speak, but shuddered instead, "Take your time." Kanda told him attempting to place his arm around the boy to comfort him, "If it's too much I can-"

Allen stood up nudging away Kanda's sympathetic gesture, and began to pace back and forth in the room. "It was just one of those days where Cross decided to have me all to himself and I was to comply to all his wishes whether I wanted to or not…"

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"On your knees boy." Cross said throwing Allen into the bedroom where'd he'd been so many times before, and locking the door behind him. Allen slowly got to his knees, but kept his gaze fixed on the faded carpet that temporarily cushioned his knees. Cross stood in front of him and with weak eyes Allen dared to look up at the man standing over him.

"What are you waiting for boy?" Cross said grinning down at Allen as he unzipped the older mans pants and pulled out his already erect cock, "Don't play dumb boy, you know how I like it, or do you want me to help you out again?" Allen stroked him slowly at first teasing the tip and wetting his tongue with bitter taste of pre-cum, then he removed his hand from Cross' erection letting it stand out on its own as he took it his mouth, gagging as he slid Cross' dick in until he reached the hilt.

"Relax your throat, or else you'll choke to death." Cross grabbed the back of Allen's head and pulled him back and pushed him forward, "Simple and easy, ain't it?"

By now Cross had picked up speed and had Allen choking down his whole cock, enjoying seeing Allen's tears as the tip of his cock continued to hit the back of his throat, the slow trickling of spit that came from his mouth and the whole broken appearance he gave off.

Being near his climax, Cross began to fuck Allen's mouth harder, placing both hands on the back of Allen's head and thrusting quickly into it, then holding it in place as he came inside, listening to Allen's futile attempts at breathing.

"Swallow it." Cross said while he removed he wet cock from Allen's mouth and looked down at the boy, who in return gave him a look of pure hatred. Cross pulled up his pants, "You know I don't like having to repeat myself, I said swallow it." He watched as Allen stood up and moved his jaw around, then as he prepared to say something else to Allen, Allen spit in his face and then ran at the window, and began beating on the panes and screaming, hard enough to cause cracks to appear in the window. Cross snatched Allen by his hair once again and threw him backwards away from the window, then he closed the blinds as Allen attempted to get up once again.

"Stay down." Cross growled kicking Allen in his chest then taking the belt from his pants and tying his hands, "What the fuck were you thinking! Did you thing someone would hear you, that someone would come and save you?" He angrily questioned Allen as he yanked him up by his bound hands and hooked him onto a hook he had nailed above the door. Once he'd made sure Allen was secured to the hook above the door, he walked over to his nightstand and pulled out a thick braided whip and slung it once in the air for effect, Allen turned at the sound as much as the position he was in would allow and instantly began to beg for forgiveness,

"Please Master, forgive me, please! I'm sorry, I'll do better, I'll be bet-!" Cross lashed Allen across his back, " Shut up! You should've thought about the consequences before you pulled that little stunt."

Fighting off the flood of tears, and trying to ignore the searing pain, he begged once again, "I'm sorry Master, ple-!" Cross hit him again, "Did I grant you permission to speak? I didn't, did I?" Allen couldn't respond, he'd bitten down on his lip to prevent his screams from surfacing. Cross whipped him once again, "Did I?"

"No sir." Allen shouted as the warm blood trickled down his back, "I'm sorry sir."

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it this time…"

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"…was the last thing he said to me, even after I'd apologized over and over again. He just kept beating me and beating me until I swear I could taste my own blood in my mouth, until I could swear I'd died but then he'd hit me again, and all I could hear was the crack of the whip and his harsh breaths behind me. I know I must have blacked out, because the next thing I remember…"

By now Allen had stopped pacing to floor and had tightly gripped the railing at the foot of Lavi's bed and slowly but surely as Kanda watched on he began to sink to the floor, "…he was on top of me…choking me…" Allen placed a hand to his chest and his breathing became rapid and uneven. "…and he-…" Allen breathing became worst, Kanda who had already rushed to Allen's side, "Okay that's enough for tonight, calm down Allen, calm down."

"I can't breathe…I can't-breathe." Allen tried to shout.

"Yes you can Allen, calm down. You're having a panic attack, just relax forget about Cross, forget about everything that happened and just take deep breaths and count backwards from ten with me."

Still clutching his chest Allen began to count, "Ten." and Kanda repeated after him.

"Nine…Eight…Seven…Six…Five…Four…Three…" by the time he'd gotten past three the heavy uneven breathing had turned into Allen clutching Kanda's hand and laying against his chest, barely unable to complete the countdown through the tears. Kanda wrapped his arm tighter around Allen and allowed him to cry until he got tired.

"Two…One.." Kanda thought, as he sat with the boy until the crying had stopped and Kanda found himself staring down at the peacefully sleeping figure of the man in his arms.

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Lenalee who had gone into the living room but now sat outside on the porch watching the morning sun rise in sky decided to light up a cigarette. After she'd lit it up, she ambled about the porch and out into the yard, mentally scowling as she blew out smoke.

'This kid's becoming a nuisance, I don't even know him and I don't think I'm going to like him too well.' She took another drag then exhaled and shrugged, 'I guess I should thank him though, were it not for him Kanda wouldn't have ever called me.'

"Since when did you pick up smoking?" her older brother's voice rang behind her.

"Since when did you stop minding your own damn business?" Lenalee retorted, not bothering to mask her mood.

Komui laughed as he walked up beside her, and snatched the cigarette out of her mouth, "You always did have an attitude when things didn't go your way," he said stomping out the cigarette in the wet grass. "So what's wrong?"

"Nothing Komui." she huffed and walked back to the porch.

"Mm." Komui said and followed her, "Well whatever the issue is let's not act crazy ok? We've got enough of that going around here and I don't think I can take anymore."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Lenalee asked.

"Nothing." The two siblings looked one another in the eye for a few seconds, "Anyway, don't you wanna check up on Kanda and Allen, hopefully the poor sap hasn't fallen asleep in the hallway." Komui said as he went back upstairs and then called down, "I'm going to back to sleep, but do me a favor and have Kanda pick Lavi up from the hospital."

"Ok." Lenalee said and headed back down the hall where she'd left her date sitting, only to find him gone and the door to the room the boy had locked himself inside ajar. She tiptoed to the door and peeked through in just enough time to see Kanda placing the sleeping boy on the bed and gently remove the boys clinging grip on his jacket. She watched as Kanda pulled the up the covers on the boy and tucked him in. Lenalee took a step back from the door unable to think for a second because jealously had found a way to creep into her mind and anger her further.

Kanda now stood in front of Lenalee having just shut the door silently behind him, "Can I talk to you for a minute about Allen?"

Lenalee's angered expression dissolved in a quickness and was replaced by the innocent sweet look reserved only for Kanda and her many patients, " Yeah what about him? Did he talk to you while you were in there? Did he tell you what happen?"

"Some what, but I think you're going to need to speak with him from a more professional stand point because the way he was talking he made it seem as if he is reliving every experience he had at that house every time he closes he eyes."

"So what you're telling me is," Lenalee gathered, " that he is essentially a ticking time bomb, like something else like what happened tonight could reoccur if I don't do something."

"I'm not telling you anything Lenalee," Kanda said, "but I'm asking you as friend to do what ever you can for him. With him I feel like just getting him out of that house was only the tip of the ice burg and there's so much more work to be done."

Lenalee stared into Kanda's dark eyes and couldn't find in her heart to refuse the man she so desperately wanted to call her own, "I'll do what I can for him Kanda. If you can find a way to bring him to my office say around four next Tuesday. I'll see what I can do. How's that sound?"

"Sounds alright."

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A week after Allen's outburst, Lavi sat in the living room of The Order with the quiet as ever Allen who Lavi had to practically beg to come out of the room and watch a movie with him. While Allen sat on the opposite couch giving the T.V. a dead stare, Lavi wondered about him, 'For the past couple of days I haven't seen him sleeping at all,' Lavi thought as Allen's eyes drooped shut for a second and popped right back open. 'It's almost as if he's afraid to fall asleep.' He watched as Allen reached for the coffee cup he'd been toting around the house lately as if it was glued to his hand, and took a long sip emptying the cup.

"I'm going to get more coffee, you want anything?" Allen asked as he got up and walked to the kitchen.

"I'm good." Lavi said as he picked up a marker from the coffee table and began to doodle on his cast. With nothing else said Allen walked into the kitchen, he went to near empty coffee pot wondering how many cups he'd had so far. He'd been drinking coffee for six days straight and hadn't eaten hardly anything. Allen reached down into one of the lower cabinets pulled out a half empty bottle of whiskey he'd found one night and poured some into his lukewarm coffee and sipped after that he set the cup down he went in search of more coffee beans so he could brew more coffee. As he searched the cabinets a hated and familiar voice began to taunt him,

'Think you can get rid of me boy?'

"You're not really there, you're dead." Allen mumbled to himself.

'You always did like it in the kitchen didn't you?' the voice taunted.

"Shut up." Allen mutter again, having found the coffee beans he went to make another pot.

'This can only keep me away for so long boy, sooner or later boy… sooner or later…'

Allen shuddered as he picked up the coffee cup once again and took a long gulp from it draining it and then instead of waiting to for more coffee to boil he just poured the remnants of the whiskey into his cup and walked back to his room.

"You're not going to finish the movie with me Allen?" Lavi asked as Allen darted past him without a word.


	8. Chapter 8

…continued from chapter 7.…

Once in the room, Allen closed the door behind him and stood still and let the silence of the room swallow him and enter his tormented and sleep deprived mind. He went and sat on his bed as he reveled in the silence, sipping on his coffee and whiskey mix. Allen finished up the coffee and still felt completely drowsy and instead of going to fix himself more, Allen set his cup on the window sill and laid his head against the window itself and felt some of the warmth from outside seep through the glass. He closed his tired eyes and sighed as he sat there,

'Did you miss me?' Cross smiled at the completely shocked and pale Allen clutching the bed's rail until his knuckles turned white. Cross reached out a hand and stroked the side of Allen's face and his menacing smile continued to gleam down at the immobile Allen.

'Did you honestly think, you could get rid of me boy?' Cross said as he moved off the bed and stood in the middle of the floor, then outstretched his hand for Allen to grab it.

"Get away from me." Allen said looking down at the translucent hand of his former abuser.

'Now is that anyway to treat your Master? Huh?' Cross inched closer to Allen as he now pressed himself up against the window, 'I mean if you not careful boy you're gonna end up like Miranda, and you know how I like the screams, don't try me boy.'

"You're not here, you're not here." Allen began to chant.  
'Are you sure boy?' Cross laughed at Allen as he repeatedly said the same words over and over as he slowly advanced onto Allen on the bed.

'Are you sure?'

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After the movie went off, Lavi sat there on the couch staring at the boring infomercial that blinked by. Groaning aloud from boredom, Lavi shut the T.V. off and resumed doodling on his cast. About thirty minutes after he'd started drawing, Lavi had grown bored yet again and decided to get up and see what Allen was up to.

'He's awful quiet in there.' Lavi thought as he made his way down the hall to the room. As he neared the door, soft pleading from Allen began to fill the quiet hall.

Lavi started to knock when he heard, "No! No! Get away from me Cross!" After which Lavi heard something collide with the door and shatter twice, it was after that second crash Lavi opened the door to find a wide eyed Allen standing in the midst of the room chest heaving and a horrified look on his face, as he hoisted a lamp above his head and was prepared to throw it dead at Lavi. Lavi rushed to his side and place a hand on his shoulder and shook him, "Allen! Allen, snap out of it! Allen!"

"Get your hands off me Cross!" Allen shouted at Lavi. "Don't you fucking touch me!"

"Allen it's me, Lavi!" Lavi shouted at the distraught who had just forcefully pushed him away, yet at the same time continued to come closer and the threat of Allen crashing the lamp against Lavi's skull became even clearer.

"Allen, think ab-" Lavi's word were cut off from him having to duck to avoid being hit with the lamp, "Allen stop!" Lavi said once again as he was now being backed into a corner.

"I hate you!" Allen spit at Lavi and hurled the lamp once again at Lavi who reacted with out thinking and punched Allen in his mouth; causing him to drop the lamp in mid- swing and clutch his now bleeding mouth. Lavi, who had come out of the corner, now walked slowly up to Allen, who in turn moved away from him.

"Allen, I'm sorry for hitting you." Lavi said, "I just had to get you to stop and you wouldn't listen, so I did the only thing I knew how to."

"Why are you in here?" Allen asked.

" 'Cause I heard you talking to somebody, and I wanted to see who it was." Lavi said.

"I wasn't talking to anyone." Allen denied and climbed into his bed and picked at the threads of the pants he had on.

"No, you were clearly talking to someone, but the thing that I'm confused about Allen is that there is no one else in the room but me and you."

Allen looked up at Lavi and opened his mouth to speak, but something seemed to have caught his attention behind Lavi and he turned away again, shut his eyes and began to count under his breath. Out of curiosity Lavi glanced over his shoulder and shot Allen a puzzled look, when he saw nothing.

"Allen." Lavi spoke.

"I wasn't talking to anyone, end of story, you can go now." He said coldly.

"No Allen, you were talking to someone, and I'm not leaving until I figure out what the hell is wrong with you, like or not." Lavi said and sat down on the edge of Allen's bed.

"No I wasn't." Allen protested again, "Now please get off my bed so I can lay down and go to sleep."

It was the nonchalant attitude of Allen that had begun to anger Lavi and caused him outburst, "Bullshit Allen, you're not going to sleep, as a matter of fact, you've barely been sleeping. Now I'm asking you as a friend to please tell me what's going on."

"And as a friend I'm asking you to leave me alone, I can handle it on my own." Allen replied.

Lavi narrowed his eyes at Allen and shook his head, "You're right Allen, nothing that breaking a couple of arms and bashing in a couple of skulls can't fix. Yep there's nothing like two or three hours of sleep, and a deadly mixture of caffeine and whiskey every thirty or forty minutes can't help right?"

Allen returned Lavi angered gaze, "What the hell do you know any way? You don't know anything about me?"

"You're right I don't!" Lavi's toned had risen, "But then again what the hell do you know about me? For days on end I've been trying to get to know you better but you haven't even bothered to ask what the hell I'm here! Too wrapped up in your own bullshit huh?"

"You have NO idea what it was like for me!" Allen said getting up from the bed. "I was raped repeatedly day in and day out!

"No, apparently I don't Allen, PLEASE elaborate what it's like to be FUCKED for money, for everybody else's enjoyment but your own. Because obviously I don't know what it's like to have sleep with a man for you're next meal or suck a couple of dicks to get a bed to sleep in a night."  
"Lavi shut-" Allen started and the angry tears began to build up in his eyes as Lavi continued to shout,

"No you shut up Allen!," Lavi said getting up from the bed and was now inches away from Allen's face, "You shut the hell up and listen to the people who want to help you. You keep cutting us off when all we want to do is help. We pushed- I pushed away all my problems and dropped everything to help you, even after you broke my arm and even now after you all but pushed me away." Lavi voice softened as he looked at the man before him biting his lip and fighting back tears.

"Go ahead cry Allen, it helps. I promise you it does." Lavi said as he reached up to wipe away the singular tear that had fallen, and then brought Allen closer to him, "Believe me, I know what it's like to have to deal with what happened to you, but the hardest part is over now and all you have to do now is live." Lavi said as the man cried into his shoulder, and Lavi had begun to fight back his own tears. Allen reminded Lavi of himself when he first got to The Order and unlike him, Lavi was determined to keep Allen on the right path and keep him off the route Lavi was still so desperately trying to get off.

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'It's just one of those days again Alma.' Kanda thought as he stroked the picture sitting in front of him on the piano. 'You know the days where I keep expecting you to come bounding through the door and tell me ,with the brightest smile on your face, how you're day was.' The half-smile Kanda held on his face had begun to fade and was replaced with a more solemn look, 'But I know that won't happen anymore, because you not here, but I'm… I'm alone, Alma." Kanda hadn't noticed it but he had begun to cry himself, and as he reached for the gun that rested on the piano beside the photo, "Will today be the day Alma? Will I finally see you again? Will I see my son or daughter for the first time?" Kanda checked the old revolver making sure it was only one bullet in it, then spun it and closed it and pressed it to his skull.

As he braced himself to pull the trigger, his phone in his pocket began to vibrate. He tried to ignore it and go on with his plan but he thought about it, 'If Alma was here he would say it's a sign.' So Kanda put the gun back down on the piano and got out his phone and answered it, "Kanda speaking."

"Kanda where are you! You and the kid were supposed to be here an hour ago!" Lenalee shouted over the phone.

"I'm sorry, I forgot I'll go get him and bring him right over." Kanda said.

"And Kanda one more thing." Lenalee said.

"Yea?" Kanda replied.

"Cheer up, you sound dead." She told him and then hung up the phone.

Kanda got up from the piano and tucked the gun back underneath the bench where he kept it and threw on a shirt as he headed out the door.

One day, I will see you again Alma, but I guess it's just not today.


	9. Chapter 9

Continued from chapter 8...

Inside The Order Lavi and Allen had already gone their separate ways, Lavi in the kitchens, slamming cabinets in search of food and Allen outside staring off into space again, determined to ignore the voice of Cross on the edge of his conscience. Minutes later Lavi joined Allen outside on the front porch with four sloppily made PB& J sandwiches on a plate.

"Want one?" Lavi said as he sat in chair opposite Allen, and setting the plate in his lap.

Allen shook his head, "I'm good."

"Whatever." Lavi said stuffing the sandwich in his mouth and for a while the only noises being made were from the birds and the sound of Lavi's constant smacking. As he finished Lavi wiped his mouth and watched as a pick up truck stopped in front of the house.

"You're ride is here." Lavi told him, while getting up and taking the plate inside the house.

Allen stared across the yard at the truck while the passenger side window went rolling down, "Come on, we're already late." Kanda's voice rang out from inside it.

Allen sighed, got up and walked towards the truck and got in without uttering so much as a 'hey' to Kanda, who in turn did the same and the two road in silence.

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Lenalee sat in her office, tapping her foot in impatience as she waited for Kanda and the kid to show up. She glanced up at the clock above the door for the umpteenth time and sighed loudly. She wanted to grab the phone beside her and call Kanda again, but she didn't want to seem pushy, so instead she reached in her desk drawer and pulled a manila envelope labeled 'Kanda' and pulled out its contents.

On the desktop before her lay dozens candid photos of Kanda and Alma, majority of them containing Alma had had the face scratched out of them or scribbled upon. Though as Lenalee continued to look through them, she got to her favorite photos. They were the dying photos of Alma and the unborn child he supposed to give birth to…

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"Welcome again Alma." Lenalee said as she ushered the pregnant man to a chair in front of desk and waited to speak as Kanda came in closed the door, " and Kanda."

She then went around to the other side of the desk and sat down in her chair, "So how have things been going for you Alma?" she smiled at the man who had a hand draped across his stomach.

Nervously Alma said, "Things are going good, went to the doctor today. He told us everything is fine and next month we should find out what we're having and the plans for the wedding are going good as well." He stopped and smiled at this.

"Oh how wonderful!" Lenalee exclaimed, "I just love summer weddings and I bet you're more than eager to find out the gender of the baby, aren't you Kanda?"

Kanda, who sat beside Alma, gave off a prideful smile as he nodded and grabbed Alma's hand, "I won't care either way as long as it gets here happy and healthy."

"Well, that's good." Lenalee said picking up a notebook and scribbling something down, "Okay Alma, so tell me how has your problem with substance abuse been going? Are you still having cravings for it?"

The happy air that been in the room was diminished and was replaced with a more serious one, Alma cleared his throat, sat and gripped Kanda's hand even tighter, "Well, next week, it'll be 2 months that I've been clean and I think I can safely say that I owe all my progress to Kanda." He turned and shot a quick smile at Kanda, then looked back at Lenalee, "But of course there have been cravings, and I get to a certain point sometimes where I want it so bad I'm willing to do anything to get it and last week was no different. I tried to-"

The ringing of Kanda phone interrupted his lovers' testimony, "Kanda haven't I made it clear that there are to be no phone calls during these sessions? Alma needs you to be more attentive to him now more than ever, now that there is soon to be an addition to the family." Lenalee scolded as Kanda looked at the caller id.

"I know I'm sorry, but I working on an important case and its mandatory that I keep my phone on me at all times." Kanda said about to answer the phone.

"I understand, but could you take you call outside the room." She said and Kanda nodded as he walked out the door.

"Please Alma continue." Lenalee said turning her attention back to the pregnant man in the chair who now looked more vulnerable since Kanda walked out of the room.

Alma cleared his throat and continued his story. "Well last week, I woke up in the middle of the night and found myself in the bathroom throwing up any and everything I had eaten that day, which seems to have become the norm for me and afterwards I tried to go back to sleep, but I felt like I could-"

Kanda came back into the room and interrupted for the second time, " I'm sorry Alma. I've gotta go they think there's been a break in the case and they need me now." He rushed over and planted a quick kiss on Alma's forehead and then left without bothering to close the door.

Lenalee walked over and closed the door Kanda had left ajar, then locked it. She took off her glasses and placed them in pocket of her pants.

"Um…well like I was saying…I felt like-" Alma tried to continue.

"Let me fix you some tea, it'll relax you more." Lenalee said walking over to the still piping hot tea she had prepared moments before they'd arrived.

"Oh that's really not necessary." Alma said.

"But I insist, I give it to all my clients it helps them relax significantly." Lenalee, with her back to Alma, fixed her cup first and set it aside, then commenced to fixing Alma's, "How much sugar would you like?"

"Um.. You can give me two scoops of it."

"Okay." Lenalee smiled at she dipped her spoon into the drug and sugar mixture into Alma's cup adding four extra scoops to the tea.

"Here you go." Lenalee said as she handed the tea to Alma and sipped some of her own.

"That's good." Alma smiled and Lenalee smiled in return.

"So let's get back to what you were saying?" Lenalee said trying to get Alma back on subject.

"Well I basically felt like…" Alma paused to clear his throat, "Excuse me, I felt like I was going to die, it was like my chest couldn't contain my heart anymore and any minute it would come bursting through. So I get up from the bed again and I go into the kitc-" Alma cleared his throat again. "I'm sorry." He chuckled, "I guess the baby doesn't like tea."

"Well there's no sense in trying to choke it down then. Let me get that cup for you then." Lenalee said, taking note that he's drunken more than enough to kill him.

Another nervous laugh came from Alma as he put his hand to his throat and cleared it once more, "What's in that tea?"

"Sugar, a bit of lemon juice and that's about it. Why?" Lenalee said still sipping on her cup.

"Nothing really, it just has my throat burning something awful." Alma said running a hand across his throat.

Lenalee set her cup down and walked towards Alma, "If you're not feeling well then you can go. We can always do this some other time, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." she smiled as she went to help up the pregnant man.

Alma nodding still clutching his throat as he got up from the chair hanging onto Lenalee for support, "Thanks."

"Do you need me to walk you to the door downstairs?" Lenalee asked as Alma slowly shuffled out of the room.

Alma shook his head 'no' and continued on down the hall to the elevator and got in. Closing the door behind her Lenalee poured out the rest of the tea she'd given Alma into a flower pot and tucked the cup and the dish containing the powder into her purse. She then went around to the drawers on the other side of the desk and fished a camera from it and tuck it in her purse as well. After she'd put away the files she'd used that day and cleaned up her office a little, Lenalee locked up her office and got inside the elevator.

As it came to a stop in the lobby Lenalee pulled out her camera and made sure it was on and in working order before she walked out of it and outside of the building into the cool air. As she walked towards the parking lot she plastered the biggest accomplished looking smile on her face as she saw in the distance the figure of Alma crumpled on the ground. After walking briskly across the parking lot, she now stood over Alma's body and knelt down to turn him over.

His once fair skin now looked deathly pale and his breathing came out harsh, raspy and uneven, sometimes even gasping twice for air. His scared eyes found themselves pouring into Lenalee's as he smiled down at him, then slapped down the dying he reached out to her as she got up and positioned the camera at her eye and began to snap picture after picture. Exclaiming after every snap, "Smile for the camera" or "You should doing something about that skin", taunting the dying man as he rasped out her name for help.

Lenalee knelt down once again and looked Alma directly in his crying eyes, "Why should I help you or that parasite you're carrying? You've stolen everything from me and you thought I would just sit back and watch it happen? You thought I would let you have the perfect family, and the perfect wedding with Kanda? Over my dead body!" She laughed. "Or maybe I should say over yours?"

Lenalee then pulled out her phone and dialed 911, and asked for an ambulance to be sent to her location. "Can have it looked like I murdered you now can I? Now I just have to call Kanda, wait for the ambulance and then go home." She said to the slowly dying Alma.

She'd called Kanda more than six times, but kept getting sent to voice mail and on the sixth call, the ambulance had arrived and picked up the now convulsing body of Alma and drove off towards the hospital….

After she'd stared the pictures long enough and put them away., Lenalee decided she would lock up and wait for the two to arrive outside and carry out Allen's session outdoors.

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Allen had been staring out of the window since they'd pulled away from The Order and as they exited the freeway that had brought them into the downtown area, he finally lifted up off the window and turned towards Kanda, who gave off a solemn expression. He wondered if the mans' silence had anything to do with him or something he'd done.

Kanda feeling the eyes of the younger man upon him asked, "What?" with out any intended harm.

"You're so quiet today." Allen said.

"Yeah?" Kanda replied. "What of it?"

"Is it because of me?" Allen he asked in a quiet tone. "Or what happened back at the house couple of weeks ago."

Kanda had to think for a minute about what he was referring to and then promptly answered, "No, What made you think that?"

"Never mind." Allen said and didn't speak for another few minutes as they turned on the street where Lenalee's office building was.

As they got closer they saw Lenalee cheerfully waving from in front of the building and trying to tell them to stop. Kanda slowed down the truck and pulled into the parking lot and parked. Both he and Allen got out walked up to meet Lenalee.

"What do you guys say to a walk in the park?" She asked, hooking both of them into her arms as she lead to the park across the street, giving them no time to answer.

"You ever been to this park Allen?" she asked as they crossed the street and the enormous pond in the park came into view along with dozens of other people with their families and pets.

"No." Allen said unhooking his arm out of Lenalee's and crossing them.

"Well, you sure have been missing out. Hasn't he Kanda?"

Kanda nodded in reply while Lenalee lead them to a park bench to sit but Kanda remained standing, "Should I leave you two alone for a while so you can talk?" he asked.

"Do you want him to stay Allen?" Lenalee asked him, Allen just shrugged his shoulders and continued to watch the people as they ran around with big smiles on their faces. Lenalee observed him as he watched them before she started asking questions,

"Allen, how have you been doing lately?" she started cautiously.

"Fine, I guess." Allen responded taking his eyes from the families to the dirt beneath him.

"Oh ok, so have you been making any friends with the rest of the people there?" she questioned.

"I guess so…I talk with Lavi some." Allen said as he kicked up a cloud of dust.

"Ok, tell me something Allen and I don't mean to upset you but you don't seem fine. It seems like there's something that you don't want me to know." she told him.

"It's not," Allen denied. " and I'm perfectly fine."

"Allen you look sick and tired, like you haven't been sleeping enough or something is keeping you have a peaceful nights sleep."

Allen remained silent, "Are you sure there's nothing you want to tell me? I'm only here to help you."

Allen bit his lip as he debated on telling yet another person about him seeing Cross where ever he went when Lenalee spoke up again, " Okay let's try this, you tell me what was going through you head a few weeks ago when you were in the bathroom. Do you remember that night?"

Allen slapped at a mosquito that had landed on his arm before he spoke, "The only thing I I remember from that night is me running from my master."

"Running from your master?" Lenalee repeated. "Allen there was no one there aside from you, Lavi and Komui. Who is this master?"

"Cross, he is-was my master." Allen said now scraping the rusting paint off of the bench.

"Is he the man who kidnapped you?" she asked.

"Yea." He said.

"How is it he was chasing you around the house when we found no other people inside besides the ones who live there?" Lenalee asked.

"I guess because I imagined him or something." Allen beginning to feel mocked by her.

"You imagined him?" Lenalee reiterated again.

"Yea, I saw him standing over me and felt him holding me down beneath the water." Allen replied starting to get a bit angry at the way she was talking to him.

"Okay Allen seeing him is one thing but you felt him holding you down?" Lenalee said watching the way Allen seemed to fidget on the bench as she questioned him. "Explain that to me Allen, how can someone who you imagined hold you down underneath the water and nearly kill you?"

"I don't know." Allen said, clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to keep from lashing out at the woman beside him.

"Surely you do Allen, you have to know." Lenalee pushed feeling as though she was close to a answer, or a break through.

Fed up with Lenalee's questioning and the way she seemed to talk down on him Allen snapped, "I don't fucking know why I keep seeing this fucking monster at every turn! I wish I didn't, I wish I'd died with the rest of them! You think I like being afraid to close my eyes for a millisecond!" By now Allen had gotten up off the park bench and was dangerously close to taking a swing at Lenalee, "No, I know what this is you think I'm fucking crazy, well I'm not."

Remaining calm and composed despite the fact that she knew he was barely able to restrain himself Lenalee said, "Allen I don't think you're crazy, I just think you need a little help, a little guidance and I think I can help you."

"You can't help me bitch." Allen growled and then stomped off towards the pond they'd passed earlier.

Lenalee let out the breath she was unaware that she had been holding as she watched him walk off.

"What was that about?" Kanda voiced coming from behind her.

"Nothing, I think I pushed him too hard on the first day." Lenalee said standing up to face Kanda. "I should probably go."

"Well thanks for trying." Kanda said. "At least you-"

"I'm not through yet, I have a suggestion that might help not only him but you as well, but before you deny it and turn it away, I want you to think about it." Lenalee told him as she started to walk along the pathway leading to the pond.

"Who said anything about me needing help and what is it?" Kanda asked curiously.

"Kanda let's not get on the subject of your problems today, but what I suggest for Allen is that he lives with someone who he gets along with, and feels comfortable around."

"Okay so what does that have to do with me?" Kanda asked. "And what's wrong with him staying at The Order?"

"There's nothing wrong with him staying at The Order but it doesn't seem to be doing him any good, you know?" Lenalee stated, "In fact he seems to be getting worse."

"So what you want him to move to another halfway house?" Kanda replied.

"No, I want him to stay with you." Lenalee told him as they came to a stop near the pond's edge and closer to Allen.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is updated to chapter 16 on ff.net   
> LivinWasteland is my name.

Continued from chapter 9…  
"No, I want him to stay with you." Lenalee told him as they came to a stop near the pond's edge and closer to Allen…

"You want him to what?" Kanda asked in total shock.

"Stay with you." Lenalee put simply as she started back walking towards Allen.

"Why? What the hell can I do that The Order can't?" Kanda exclaimed, "Explain that to me, this isn't making any sense to me."

Lenalee sighed and stopped yet again, "If he stays with you then he'll be less of a danger to others and probably feel more secure around instead of being overwhelmed with more than a dozen or so men roaming freely around him." She paused and looked at Kanda, "Is that a good enough explanation for you?"

"No." Kanda spit at her, "If that's the case then why then he doesn't just stay with you? Taking him out of a house full of men is good, but to isolate him and stick him with one singular man…where's the sense in that?"

"I get your point, but Kanda you know how small my apartment is. Where would he sleep?" She said challenging him to find a better idea.

"What's wrong with the couch?" Kanda said unashamed.

Lenalee reached out and smacked Kanda on his chest, "Idiot, the couch is fine for a few weeks yes, but who knows how long it will take him to get back on his feet."

"Exactly! So once again why stick him with me?" Kanda pointed out yet again. "What makes you think I want him as a permanent house guest?"

"Tell me Kanda, what the hell are you doing in the enormous house all alone? Besides moping around and feeling sorry for yourself? Being depressed isn't going to bring Alma back and clinging to all his old things isn't really helping you move on either." Lenalee said smartly, mentally smiling as she watched the fight leave Kanda.

"Let's just stop talking about this and let him decide." Kanda said voice returning to its usual monotone and his face returning to a solemn expression.

"He was always going to decide, I just needed your consent so he could stay at your place." She said and the two continued the rest of the way towards Allen in silence. As they came upon the man throwing rocks into the pond, Lenalee cleared her throat.

Allen narrowed his gaze but pretended not to pay her any mind, "Allen I want to ask you something?"  
Allen paused in mid throw and waited for her to continue, "Kanda and I were talking and we want to know how would you feel about leaving The Order?"

"And go where?" Allen said showing some curiosity to where this where this was headed.  
"I was thinking that maybe you could stay with Kanda and that maybe—"

"No." Allen said and continued throwing rocks into the pond.

"You didn't even let me finish." Lenalee said.

"And I don't have to because I'm not leaving The Order."

"Why don't you think over it for a week or two?" Lenalee said determined not to take 'no' for an answer.

"I don't need to think about it I've given you my answer and it will remain the same this week or two weeks from now, no." Allen said once again.

"You say that now Allen, but who knows you could change your mind." With that said, Lenalee left the two, bidding them both a good day.

Kanda cleared his throat, "Ready to leave?"

Without a word said Allen got up from the ground, brushed off his pants and began walking ahead of Kanda, and Kanda practically jogged behind him to make sure he didn't run off. As they two got back to the truck and Kanda drove off Kanda spoke, "You don't have to if you don't want to. Really it's no big deal."

"I know and I won't, I refuse to move in with you. I don't know you from a hole in the wall and I'm not going to be taken advantage of again." Allen said angrily as he stared out of the window.

"Who said anything about taking advantage of you? I just want to help you."

Allen scoffed, "Funny, Cross said the same thing and look where I ended up. You sound just like him."

"What?" Kanda shot back.

"You're no different from him, you just want to use me. You don't care about me, only what I can do for you. You-"

"Wait a damn minute, just where the hell do you get off comparing me to him? Yes, what he did to you was wrong, but don't go blaming his actions and ill intentions on those who want to help and care for you." Kanda retorted.

"If you really cared for me, you would put me out of my misery and be done with it." Allen told him.

Kanda opened his mouth to object, but couldn't find the words to say without becoming angry and with no other words said to one another, they drove back towards The Order.

After Allen had left Lavi found himself bored with nothing to do but sit back down on the couch, nurse his broken arm and watch T.V. So stretched out as he was for an hour so eventually Lavi dozed off…

A young Lavi, no more than six or seven, sat in the middle of the floor of his home pushing around his toy trucks as his parents readied themselves for work. As they got ready to go out the door, Lavi's mother came up to him and kissed him and told him his uncle was going to keep an eye on him today while she and his father at work. Lavi smiled eagerly at this because he knew his uncle always had something planned and somewhere for them to go. So when he arrived moments later and goodbyes and hugs were given to his parents, Lavi turned his attention to his uncle.

"What are we going to do today Unc?" Lavi said climbing atop of the man's lap and smiling with excited eyes.  
His uncle pushed him off of his lap, "Not today Lavi, Unc can't deal with you right now. I've got problems of my own." Just as he said that his phone began to ring.  
"…YES, I know I have till three to come up with payment….I'm well aware of what fucking time it is!" his uncle shouted at the phone, then instantly calmed and his eyes became wide. "…um, yes sir I do fully intend to pay for it, but I have no money at the moment and I'm currently watching my nephew at the moment."

As he said that his eyes rested upon Lavi's pouting face and seemed to have an idea. "…sir will you accept collateral as I collect on the money?" There was another long pause before his uncle spoke again.

"…well I know how your sexual tastes are different from most and I am willing to make you an offer, if you'll accept…" Another pause, then "We'll be there soon sir, thank you sir."

Lavi's uncle hung up the phone and went up to angry young boy still sitting on the floor.

"I'm sorry Lavi, do you forgive me?"  
"No." he pouted.

"Well what if I took you somewhere special, somewhere that only you and I can go and only you and I can know about."

Lavi's face brightened at this, "Where is it?"

"I can't tell you, I'll have to show you. Is that alright?" his uncle said smiling wide at the boy.

Lavi pouted again, "I guess."

"Alright then, let go." His uncle said and they left. About an hour later they arrived in front an enormous house and Lavi's uncle exclaimed, "Here we are."

"Who lives here uncle?" Lavi asked as he stared in awe at the mansion before him.  
"A few good friends of mine." He replied as they walked up to the door.

"Are we going to play with all of them today?" he asked.  
"No, it's just gonna be you."

"Why?" Lavi asked, but didn't receive an answer due to the fact that the door flung open and a man casually dressed stood in the door staring down at him. Lavi felt uncomfortable under the man's gaze and move behind his uncle.

"Don't be shy Lavi, say hello." His uncle told him and pushed him inside.

"Hey." Lavi said keeping his head down unable to look up at the man.

"Well what do you think?" His uncle said to the man who continued to roll his eyes across Lavi.

"It will have to do. This will extend your deadline for a couple of days." The man said coolly.

"Thank you sir." Lavi's uncle smiled.

"Leave and come back within 2 hours." The man said and Lavi's uncle turned to leave and Lavi tried to follow behind him.

"No, you stay here. I'll be back ok? I 'll be right back." His uncle promised and then turned and left Lavi with the man.

As the man took Lavi throughout the house and asking him numerous questions, he took Lavi into the kitchen,

"You hungry?" he asked, a hesitant Lavi nodded and the man open his cabinets and brought down an enormous jar chocolate that immediately enticed the boy.

He set the jar on the counter and then picked up Lavi and set him on the counter, "Dig in." He smiled at the boy as he nervously dug his hand into the jar and popped a few in his mouth.

"Your momma lets you have all this?" Lavi asked putting more and more into his mouth.  
The man chuckled at his innocence, "My mama didn't buy all this, I did."

"You're lucky, my momma doesn't allow me to eat a lot of candy, she says it'll rot my teeth." Lavi said taking another handful of the candy.

The man laughed again, "Is that right? Are you thirsty?" Lavi nodded and the man fixed him a glass of water and took it to the boy who grabbed for the cup, "I'll hold it for you your hands are all covered in chocolate."  
"Okay." Lavi said as the man put the glass to his lips as Lavi drank his fill, "I think that's enough candy for now." The man said as he wipe away some of the chocolate away from Lavi's mouth and got Lavi down from the counter.

"How about we go watch some T.V.?" he asked guiding Lavi into the living room.  
"Okay."  
As they got in the living room the T.V. was already turned on cartoons and the man went and ushered Lavi to the couch where he sat down and motioned Lavi to sit on his lap. Lavi went and sat on the man's lap, "Relax." The man told him as he rubbed his up and down on Lavi's back, "I would like to sit on the couch." Lavi turned around and told the man.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" He asked Lavi.  
Lavi unsure of what to say, remained silent and stared ahead at the T.V., "Okay," the man said as he took Lavi off his lap and placed close beside him, "Do you feel better now?" he asked and Lavi didn't respond, he felt scared and asked, "When is my uncle coming back?"

"Soon, are you ready to go?" He asked placing a hand on Lavi's thigh and massaging his way inwards.

"Yes." Lavi began to fidget. "Can you move your hand?"

"Is this hurting you?" the man said moving his hand closer to Lavi's privates.  
Lavi pushed his hand back, "Please move your hands, I want my uncle!"  
The man put his hand around Lavi's throat and forced him to look at him, "You're so beautiful." He shoved his face closer to Lavi's and kissed him, forcing his tongue down the young man's mouth.

Lavi kicked at the man clamoring atop of him and screamed, "Get off me! Get off me please!"…

Lavi shot up on the couch, chest heaving and sweating as he looked around him. To the left of him, sitting in the chair beside him, sat Komui reading the newspaper. The two looked at one another, and before Komui could even open his mouth to speak,

"Don't." Lavi said and got up from the couch, stretching from the stiffness of sleeping in one position.

"Lavi…" Komui started.

"I said don't. Don't say a word about it. I'm good Komui it was just a dream." Lavi said forcing a smile towards the man as he folded the newspaper.

"You can't keep pushing it away." Komui said, "Eventually you're going-"

"I'm going out. I should be back later on." Lavi said and headed to the door.

"Where are you going?" Komui said his face growing stern as he got up and followed him to the door.

"Does it matter? I'm just going for a quick walk around the block." Lavi said and opened the door and left.

Kanda and Allen had finally arrived back at The Order, "Just think about it Allen. If not about moving in with me, then how about getting out on your own?" Kanda suggested as he stopped the truck.

In annoyance Allen rolled his eyes and mumbled lowly, "Whatever." Then Allen got out of the car and walked inside without another word to Kanda.

"Don't forget you've got another session next week." Kanda shouted after the man who clearly was not interested in a word he had said, so with a shrug of his shoulders Kanda drove home.

Inside the house, Allen went straight to his room and threw himself on the bed.  
'Move in with him!' He thought, 'They must take me for some kind of fool. It's bad enough I'm staying here, the sooner I can get out of here the better.'

Allen got back up off the bed and decided to take a shower afterwards he went into the living room and watched some T.V. Around three a.m. Allen began to get drowsy and curled up on the couch, no sooner had he yanked down the thick blanket hanging on the back of the sofa and warmed himself beneath it, a slow pounding on the door started.

Determined to ignore it, Allen put a pillow over his head in hopes that whoever it was would either go away or had a key and was just being too lazy to get it out. Even after 3 minutes of stop and go knocking at the door, they had not entered nor did anyone else come to the door, leaving Allen to the be the one to open the door.

As he did a clearly wasted and red eyed Lavi barely stood up in front of him. "What took you so long?" He slurred and shuffled inside still holding onto the bottle of alcohol.  
"I thought you had a key." Allen said now following the drunken man to the room.

"Nope, lost it." Lavi said fumbling with the door knob to the room, Allen brushed by him, "Here let me get that for you." He reached for the door but Lavi roughly slapped his hand away, "I don't need your fucking help!" He growled and rammed himself against the door, pushing it forcefully open.

"Are you gonna be alright Lavi? Maybe you had too much to drink? Do you want me to get you some coffee or something?" Allen said now hesitantly following the man inside the room, as he went to his bed and struggled with his shoes. "Maybe you should put that down." Allen said motioning to take away the liquor away from him.

"Don't –don't come near me." Lavi slurred.

"Lavi…" Allen said and quietly walked up and knelt beside the man, helping him to unlace and take off his shoes.

"Allen stop it." Lavi said half jerking away from Allen, "I can do it myself, I'm not a child." Pushing Allen away from him, Lavi snatched off his boots and threw them into a corner.

Allen got up and took a quick glance at Lavi's puffy eyes, "Have you been crying?"  
"Just leave me the fuck alone Allen." Lavi said standing up to try and brush past the man, only to find himself wobbling and falling forward onto Allen.

"Lavi what's wrong with you?" Allen said trying to get him to stand up right.

"Nothing damn! Just get off my back." Lavi said and pushed Allen out of the way as he drunkenly made his way into the hall way, and began to bang on walls and shout curse words at the top of his lungs as he walked throughout the house and towards the backdoor and into the backyard. Along the way the other sleeping tenants of The Order began to stir and grumble, poking their tired eyes out of their doors to see what caused the ruckus. Allen apologized to all as he tried to quiet and shush Lavi on his way outside.

"Lavi you damn near woke up the whole house; I think you need to go to sleep." Allen said to Lavi who now stood staring up at the black sky.

"Fuck them, Allen. They don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves." Lavi stated darkly taking a long swig of the drink.

"What the hell has gotten into you tonight?" Allen said coming up behind him.

Ignoring Allen's question Lavi continued, "Have you ever held onto something for so long that it eats at you? And- and you can push it away all you want but it's still there and you know that no matter what you do or who you—" Lavi paused and drunk more.

"What are you getting at?" Allen asked now standing beside Lavi and as he put his head down.

"It's just-." Lavi sighed and eased himself to the ground and placed a hand to his face. "I just can't—I've never been able to understand how you could do something like that to – ." Lavi's voice seem to quiver as he continued, "They never believed me, they thought I made it all up."

"What are you talking about Lavi? Who didn't believe you?" Allen said now sitting beside him.

"I was six Allen, six. Who the hell else was I supposed to turn to and tell?" Lavi slow tears escaped him, "He used me to pay a debt to the fuck who raped me time and time again."

"What?! Who?! Lavi tell me!" a shocked Allen said at Lavi as he continued to cry.

"My uncle, he used to take me to this man's house every time he'd babysit me and leave me for hours at a time, letting this man do what he please as long as he pleased and didn't seemed object to bringing company to join in." Sorrow erased the hint of anger in Lavi's tone as he told Allen about his first time with the man. After he'd retold the story Lavi seemed to break, "My parents, my school, everyone had already deemed me a liar since I already acted out at home and school and no one wanted to deal with me. Yea they loved me, or so they said but no one believed and for nearly twelve years I figure this went on until, I ran away. It seems that no matter where I go, it's always there Allen. Always, and I can't figure out how to get rid of the pain." Lavi tilted the bottle up and drunk the remaining drops and tossed it aside.

Angry at how he exposed himself to Allen, who had placed a hand on Lavi and tried to talk to him, "Lavi I don't think I can give you any helpful advice, but I understand you, I really do."

"You must think I'm weak don't you?" Lavi turned his red tear stained face to Allen.

"No I don't, so far you're the strongest person I've met. You're the closest thing I've got to a friend, hell to family and whether you know it or not I've come to rely on you more than you know and more than I care to admit." Allen said unashamed at telling him how he felt.

"Do me a favor then Allen." Lavi said, "If there ever comes a time when I tell you something that doesn't sound true, you have to promise to believe me without a shadow of a doubt." Lavi wiped at some of the drying tears.

"What are you saying?"

"Just promise me alright." Lavi said.

"Yea okay." Allen said and the two remained in the yard for a little while longer before returning into the house for the night.


	11. Chapter 11

The weeks that had gone by after Lavi's break down, he and Allen had become increasingly close. Each relying on the other for support, Lavi's didn't mind being open about his childhood abuse but he soon found their little hearts to hearts a little one sided. When he would ask Allen about how he came to The Order or what happened to him; he would give the same worn out answer: That he was kidnapped and held prisoner for a number of years along with other people. When he would ask about the whereabouts of the other people Allen would quickly change the subject, as much as Lavi wanted to push and figure this man out he decided that it was best not to and would drop the subject.

As the weeks turned into months, Allen's enraged outbursts became few and in between, partly due to Lavi's constant presence and reassurance every now and then and a small fraction to his therapy sessions with Lenalee, who had prescribed him medication to keep him calm. Though his sessions were about as eventful as a plastic bag floating in the wind, he continued to go to them and each day he would talk a little more, though they never brought up the subject of Cross.

One day, near the end of a session Lenalee, who had gotten up and fixed both of them tea, handed Allen his cup and sat down in the chair in front of him.

"Allen," She began, "It's been awhile since I've asked you about your decision to stay with Kanda, so I know you've had an ample amount of time to think about it. So what do you say?" She smiled hoping his slow, but steady change in mood would get her a definite yes.

Allen sipped at the tea and frowned at its bitter taste, after setting it on the table, he answered, "No, I can't go and live with him, Lavi needs me…" he paused and then added, "...we help each other."

Lenalee let out a small sigh then set her teacup down as well, "I know you feel you have a connection to Lavi, but I know for a fact that you're not telling him the whole truth. Now how much help can you be if you're lying to him? How do you think he'll feel when he finds out about that extra something you're hiding Allen? I know because I read the doctor's report."

"If," Allen corrected, "If he finds out."

"So you have no intentions of telling him at all?" Lenalee asked.

"No,why should I? That's something he doesn't need to know." Allen said and began to get up from the chair.

Lenalee looked up at the clock above the door, "That's not fair to him Allen, but I guess this will be an argument for next time." She nodded her goodbye and continued sipping her tea.

"Bye." Allen said and left to go home,leaving the mischievous psychiatrist to her thoughts.

..::..::..::..::..::..::..

The following day Kanda invited Allen to lunch seeing that his session was cancelled at the last minute. It had become sort of routine for the to talk amongst themselves before and after the sessions, each day they got to know a little more about one another, but Allen made sure never to say too much and Kanda made sure never to go to far. Yet the day before it was brought to Kanda's attention by a fellow officer that he had yet to get a statement from Allen.

So as they sat across from one another in the booth Kanda cleared his throat and began questioning the now smiling boy,

"Allen I know we've never discussed how you came to meet Cross and yesterday I was told that we haven't received your statement yet and without it we cannot prosecute that man we found in your room that day nor can we find the other men who aided Cross." He paused and watched the going and as he toyed with the ice in his cup and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"I didn't know if you would want to give your statement down at the precinct or would you like to give it in a more relaxed setting." Lands finished and waited as Allen sat himself upright and sighed, " I don't want to do this, in fact I don't even wanna think about him or the things that happened between us, but I starting figure out its just one of those things that can't be helped." Allen got up from his chair and proceeded to leave out of the building, Kanda followed behind him throwing a twenty on the table in haste and met him beside his truck.

Allen stood with his back against the passenger window, biting his lip.

"Look I know it isn't easy for you but I wouldn't ask you if-"

"I met Cross at one of the shelters I'd been staying at one night and while we were eating supper we talked and got through the basics of friendly chit chat then we went our separate ways and that was the first of many times we would actually "run" into one another. Later on though I found out that he was stalking me I was just too stupid to realize it."

"Don't say that." Kanda interrupted.

Allen rolled his eyes at the comment and opened the door to the truck and got in, Kanda followed suit on the other side, "Where to?" He said.

"Just drive." Allen replied and then continued...

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::.

"I can't tell you exactly what made Cross attractive to me," Allen began, "but the first time we met, he acted nothing like the man I'd come to hate over the years."

...

Allen stood hungrily in the long line at the soup kitchen, clutching the foam plate and cup rather tightly. As the line moved up he reached in front of him for the plastic utensils, another pale hand met his, and Allen looked up at the person it belonged to.

"Sorry." Allen mumbled and move his hand back.

"No you were here first, go ahead." the man told him.

Allen grabbed them and then shuffled upwards in the line, after reaching its end and getting his food, the hardest part for Allen and any other straggling homeless beings, was finding a place to sit in the already crowded room. He stood and scanned the room for a seat, sighing and deciding it would be easier to sit on the floor in the corner he headed there.

Carefully maneuvering his way through the thick crowd of moving bodies and metal chairs, he'd made his way to the corner of the room and squatted in the corner and began to enjoy his free meal. About half way through another body sat beside him, Allen looked up it was the man from earlier.

"Why are you in the corner?" he asked sipping tenderly on the hot coffee.

With a mouth full of food and no shame Allen answered, "Because there's nowhere else to sit."

"You could've sat with me." The man suggested. After taking a sip of the juice he'd chosen, Allen responded, "I don't know you."

"Touché." The man smiled and sipped once more. "Cross Marian."

"Mm." Allen said nonchalantly and continued to eat.

Cross leaned over and whispered to him, "This is the part where you tell me your name." Then he sat back up and smiled down at Allen.

Allen motioned to Cross to lean back over, then he whispered, "And this is when I tell you to fuck off and let me eat in peace."

Cross leaned back up and laughed, "You're something else, you know that kid?"

Allen rolled his eyes and decided he would rather starve through the night than try to finish his food and have to suffer another minute with that man. As Allen got up he asked, "Where are you going you didn't even finish." Allen continued towards the door, casually throwing away the plate and snatching his hood over his head to block the cold wind.

Allen walked along for some time, dodging in and out alleyways searching for a suitable place to sleep the night. Twelve blocks and two near hit and misses, Allen settled inside a old condemned building. Once he settled himself inside the thin, worn covers he tried to force himself to go to sleep and ignore the piercing cold; an hour or so later Allen was dead to the world.

The next morning Allen gather the few things he had and headed towards another less known soup kitchen in hopes that they were still serving breakfast. Silently scolding himself along the way for losing the watch he had. When he got to the soup kitchen, the line was thinning out which meant he was at the tail end of breakfast and had better hurry before they closed and prepared for lunch. Huffing and puffing at the end of the line Allen grabbed his plate and began grabbing bits and pieces of the scraps that were left, and smiling to himself, happy he'd made it on time; even if it meant he had to take his food to go.

Walking briskly down the street oblivious to everyone and everything around him Allen happily munched on his food in search of places to go for the day to stave off boredom.

About four blocks into the walk Allen feels eyes on his back, and a quick look into a shop confirms that he's being followed. Two blocks later, Allen has lost his appetite and throws it onto the ground and dips his hands into his pockets, once of which contains a switchblade that he grips tightly. Another three blocks and Allen glances behind him to find that the man's gone. As he stands at an empty cross walk, he relaxes himself and thinks 'I was just being paranoid.'

He releases his death grip on the blade in his pocket and leans against the post waiting for the 'walk' signal. Looking across to the other side he sees the man from yesterday, Cross, just as the light changes, traffic slows to a halt. They share eye contact and the man immediately recognizes him and waves. Allen lowers his head and instead of going across just as he'd planned he turned around and went down an alleyway, hoping to lose Cross around the corner, instead he found himself face to face with a snarling man and a knife to his chest.

"Now aren't you a pretty little thing?" The man said breath reeking of whiskey, " Why don't you give daddy some sugar." He sneered and pulled Allen closer, determined not to be the victim in this situation Allen whack the side of man's face with his fist and pushed the stunned man to the side. Despite being athletic the slick ground caused him to slip. The man had gotten back to his feet and was now after Allen.

"That's okay baby, Daddy likes a little foreplay." He said to him and he slashes at the back of Allen's jacket and catching a bit of his skin as well, Allen cried out at the sudden cut from the cold blade and fell back towards the ground. Allen fumbled in his pocket and fished out his blade

and slashed at the man cutting his face. The man hollered out and snatched Allen by his neck.

"You're lucky I like them feisty." The man said as lunged for a forceful kiss.

"Get the fuck off me!" Allen shouted and attempted to jab the man in the chest only to have it knocked out of his hand and out of reach.

"Go ahead and scream, it just makes it so much more pleasurable for me." The man growled into Allen's neck as he planted sloppy kisses onto his neck. The man's unkempt beard scratched at Allen as he moved roughly up and down, his tongue against his neck felt like something Allen could never wash away.

"Get OFF!" Allen screamed again attempting to gouge out the man's eyes with his fingers.

"OW! You little son of a bitch!" The man shouted as he quickly got up and held his hand to his now watering eye. Allen got up and ran out of the alleyway as fast as he could, ice and slick pavement be damned. As he reached the open he the man from yesterday, Cross, and ran directly towards him.

"Help me!" Allen said breathlessly as he clung to the sleeves of Cross' jacket, "I'm being chased, attacked, whatever the fuck you wanna call it!"

"I don't see-"

"COME HERE YOU FUCKER!" The drunken man called from the opposite end of the alley, now red eyed and angrier than before.

Cross lifted an eyebrow and mumbled to Allen, "Your new friend, I suppose." Then he shouted to man, "Hey buddy fuck off! He doesn't want anything to do with you." As Cross guided Allen away the man ran up the alley and leaped onto Cross' back and took him down the ground, "Move kid!" Cross commanded and started fiercely wrestling with man.

People stopped and stood around the two men as they fought and Allen as he jumped in and tried to wrestle away the blade from the man's hand a he pulled it up, but instead of stopping it the man shoved it through Allen's hand.

That's when Cross got the upper hand and began to shove the man's face on the concrete and standing him up and slamming him into to the light post. By the time Cross had exhausted himself the man was more heavily bruised than Cross and barely conscience. Cross went over and picked up Allen, "Guess I'm taking you to the E.R. kid."

"Put me down," Allen said through clenched teeth, trying to mask his discomfort. "The knife is in my hand, not in my ass."

"No," Cross replied, "Cause this just makes things much more interesting for me kid."

"Stop fucking calling me kid!" Allen huffed as the man carried him towards the taxi he'd just hailed. As Cross sat Allen inside he said, "I will if you tell me your name."

Allen stared at the Cross' smiling eyes and sighed dramatically. "Allen."

::..::..::..::Back at The Order::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Lavi sat on floor opposite the door, hiding on the other side of the bed. He held a thick rubber band clenched in his teeth and a needle firmly in his grasp, he pushed out a few test droplets before he pushed it through his skin. His mind relaxed instantly as he felt the warm liquid course through the veins in his arm and disappear throughout the rest of his body. Just as he pulled the needle and loosen the band, a soft knock came to the door, "Allen?" a voice called.

"No," Lavi grumpily replied as he shoved the evidence underneath his bed, then got up to go to the door.

"Well, I brought this for him, since I cancelled today's session. It's important that he gets it." Lenalee said after Lavi opened the door.

"You couldn't have left it downstairs?" Lavi asked.

"This isn't the type of file you leave downstairs, and would be highly embarrassing for Allen if anyone were to read this." Lenalee said and gently pushed Lavi out of the way.

"I'll just set this on his bed." As she did so, she noticed a needle sticking out from under the covers of the other bed. She walked over and picked it up, "What's this Lavi?"

Lavi went over and snatched it out of her hand, "No of your damn business, you're not my therapist."

She smugly laughed inwardly as she walked past the angry man, making note of his drug habit for future references, "Make sure Allen get that alright."

After she left, Lavi locked the door and sat on the bed, letting his body get adjusted to sudden high that had overcome him. As his body heated itself to unbearable conditions, Lavi became dizzy and nauseous. He decided to walk around the room hoping to alleviate himself from the heat but found that he couldn't. He grabbed for the manila folder on Allen's bed and began fanning himself with hard swings from the folder, not minding the fact that he was throwing its contents about the floor.

When he did finally realize, Lavi stooped down to pick them up, "I hope they weren't in any kind of order." he said aloud.

At first Lavi didn't look at the pictures he was picking up, then he started to notice that every photo contained a beaten Allen as its centerfold, pictures of his back, chest, legs and thighs. The degree of horror that went through Lavi as he looked at the wounds and obvious burn patterns on the boy sadden him. He snapped himself out of it and continued to gather the pictures together. As he placed them back inside he saw the doctors reports and statements from various others about Allen, before he could stop himself he was immersed in the hidden details of this mans life.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::.

"...Later on I found out that it was a setup and that he'd been watching all along." Allen had finally ended his story. "I should've known, though."

"You had no way of knowing." Kanda reassured him.

"You wanna know something Kanda, the guy he beat up was in on it too,right from the start." Allen said, eyes staring at The Order, they had been sitting there for over an hour.

"How did you figure that out? Did Cross tell you?" Kanda asked.

Allen turned to look at Kanda in the darkness," I found out because he was a regular client of mine and every chance he got he reminded me of the fact."

Unsure of how to answer, Kanda just stared back, silent; not knowing whether to offer sympathy or show anger.

"Goodnight Kanda." Allen said and he got out of the car.

'Did I upset him by not saying anything?' Kanda wondered as he got out of the car and ran up behind the man.

"At least let me walk you to the door." Kanda said, well after they had both gotten to the door.

Allen smirked at the man, "We're already here."

Seeing Allen semi-smile at him, and his stupidity, made Kanda proud at the fact he'd come this far, " So we are." He smiled back at Allen.

Allen's smile widen as he shook his head, " You know for a cop you sure have your moments when I want to question how did you get into the police academy."

Kanda shrugged and watched as the man went inside, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Allen said and closed the door behind him.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::.

Allen walked in the room to find Lavi sitting in the middle of the room staring intently at the paper in his lap, "What are you-?" Allen looked down to see he stepped on a picture of himself, covered in bruises.

"Where did you get these Lavi?" Allen's voice started to tremble as he looked at the rest of room. Seeing images of himself covered in scars and bruises, was starting to make him physically sick. Lavi still had not answered the trembling boy before him.

"Lavi answer me! Where the fuck did you get these!" Angry tears were starting to gather as he took in the pitiful look Lavi was giving him.

"Allen what happened to your-"

"Don't say it Lavi, I'm begging you Lavi." Allen said closing his eyes trying to push away old memories.

"What did he do with it?" Lavi continued to ask.

"Lavi shut the fuck up!" Allen said covering his ears.

"Allen I just-!" Allen lunged at the man and began beating him and before either of them knew they were in an all out fist fight. Allen scratched and kicked Lavi and Lavi did the same. About thrity to forty minutes later Komui was in the room amongst a group of other boys trying to break them up. When they were a distance away from one another and fully restrained by two or three boys,

"WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE WELL ENOUGH THE FUCK ALONE!" Allen shouted trying to attack Lavi. Lavi stood behind two other boys, wiping the blood from his lip an glaring at Allen.

"I've had enough outbursts from the both of you to last me quite some time, I think you both need some time apart." Komui said, trying to think of what he should do next.

"I'm outta here." Allen said and left the room, he stormed to the front of the house and picked up the phone.

"Kanda."

"Yea." Kanda answered.

"It's me, Allen."

"I know, what I don't know is why you're calling me." Kanda replied as if he was amused.

" I need you to come get me."

"Where are you?"Kanda asked sounding concerned.

"At The Order." Allen replied and for some reason unknown to him he started to cry."

"What happened? Are you hurt?" Kanda asked, and Allen could hear the jingle of keys in the background.

"Please come get me." Allen sniffed.


	12. Chapter 12

Kanda had driven as fast as he could on the way to The Order, when he arrived and made it to the front door Allen was already standing in its threshold. He gave Allen a quick glance over, taking his stretched and torn shirt. His newly busted lip and soon to be black eye already forming.

"Can we just leave?"Allen said, wiping at his eyes and pushing past Kanda.

"What happened?" Kanda asked following closely behind the man.

"People just don't know how to mind their own damn business." Allen replied angrily as he got inside the truck and slammed the door.

"Kanda." Komui called from the porch with a folder in one hand and motioned for him to come.

"Okay, what happened? When I left him a few hours ago he was fine." Kanda asked.

"This happened." Komui slapped the folder to Kanda's chest. "Apparently from what Lavi said Lenalee dropped this off for Allen and Lavi 'accidentally' read it contents and when Allen came into the room and saw the pictures and he flipped out."

Kanda opened the folder and closed it in an instant, from the small glimpse of the picture on top he already knew what the rest was. "Why did she bring it here anyway? He had a another session scheduled tomorrow."

"That's something you'll have to ask her." Komui said, " In the meantime, those two will need some time apart so Allen will need somewhere to stay for a couple of days."

"Since it's such short notice,I guess he can stay with me for a few days then maybe I'll get him a hotel room or something if by then he's not ready to come back." Kanda said rolling the files up and sticking them in his back pocket.

"Sounds fine to me. Tell him he can come back when he's calmed down." Komui said.

"Alright. Bye." Kanda then went back to the truck and started the drive back to his house.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

The silence of the ride only made Kanda itch with prying questions that he knows Allen didn't have the answers to or didn't want to answer. Instead of making matters worst Kanda attempted to get the boy to talk,

"Will you be ok tonight?" Kanda asked and Allen gave him a blank look, "At my place, I mean. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything. I mean if you'd rather be alone or something I could pay for a couple nights at a motel."

Allen shook his head and softly replied that it was fine.

By that time Kanda had pulled up into the driveway of his house and he got out and waited for the young man to do the same. With his head down and silent, Allen got out and followed Kanda. Once inside, he lifted his head and looked around at the barren living room. There were no decorations, no pictures, no coffee table or T.V., only a worn couch and old food wrappings.

"I'm sorry about the mess, nowadays I'm the only one here." Kanda said as he picked up his litterings and rushed to throw them away. Allen, who still stood beside the door, wondered how anyone could live in this conditions, it's like the room itself reflected a sort of painful emptiness.

Kanda returned to the room and saw the boy still standing beside the door, "Will you comfortable enough to sleep on the couch tonight? I could go buy an air mattress tomorrow or something and you can sle-"

"It's fine, thanks." Allen replied. "Can I just get some cover? I just want to go to sleep now."

"Uh yea, let me go get it for you." Kanda left and returned within minutes with the cover and some night clothes for the boy. "Here, I thought you might want to change." Kanda smiled.

Allen gave and accepting nod and began to throw the covers across the couch, "Well," Kanda said as he stood awkwardly beside the boy, "good night." Then he went down the hall to his room. Allen buried himself inside the sinking couch and beneath cover instantly fell asleep.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Allen sat in the warm tub as Cross caressed his back with sponge, "How have you been feeling lately?"

"Fine, it's just taking some getting use to, sir." Allen replied quietly.

"Hey," Cross said softly as he turned the boys' face towards him, "It's okay, you don't have to call me that anymore." Cross then leaned in and kissed Allen. "Now sit still while I go and get a towel." Cross left the bathroom and returned with the towel, he held out his hand for Allen and lifted him out of the tub.

Cross smiled as he wrapped the towel around the man's body, and led him into the bedroom. Allen sat on the bed and waited. Cross disappeared and returned again this time with a bottle of lotion, and began lotioning the boys swollen feet and ankles. He worked his way up his calves and thighs massaging his inner thighs, Allen shuddered and Cross pulled back, "Sorry."

He then squeezed out more lotion and rubbed lotion across his chest, arms, belly and back. When he finished Cross smiled and knelt down kissed every inch of Allen's protruding belly, "He's getting bigger everyday isn't he?" Allen nodded and placed a hand over his stomach as the baby inside stirred.

"Three months from now I'll have a baby boy in my arms. I can't wait." Cross said excitedly as he got up got Allen some pajama pants and as Cross helped slide the pants on Allen, Allen quietly asked, "What happens to me when this is over?" Cross replied in a sudden monotone, "We'll just have to see then won't we?"

The background faded and suddenly Allen found himself strapped to a cold metal table.

"Lie still!" Cross shouted at Allen as the street doctor he'd hired tried to make an incision on his stomach.

"No! No! Please don't do this!" Allen pleaded as the man placed a steadying hand on his stomach again and Allen thrashed about as much as he could, anything to keep that man away.

The street doctor frustratedly sighed and looked at Cross, "Do something or I'll kill them both."

"I didn't want to have to do this Allen, but you just won't cooperate." Cross pulled the cattle prod out and let it linger on Allen's skin for awhile. Allen whimpered and stilled himself. Tears flowed down the sides of his face and blood oozed from his lips as he bit into it.

The Doctor placed his hand on Allen's stomach again and made a slow agonizing cut down the center to his belly button. Allen screamed, "Cross! Please I love you! I'll never leave! I'll st-!" The Doctor cut him once again and Allen screamed once again to Cross, "Kill me! Kil-!" The Doctor continued to cut him until the point where Allen's screams became nothing more than raspy whispers and he blacked out.


	13. Chapter 13

Kanda woke up to screaming in house and without thought he grabbed the gun from his bedside table and ran to his living room, he flicked on the light only to see that it was Allen screaming and thrashing about on his couch. He quickly put the gun on safety and into his pajamas pocket.

He knelt beside Allen and grabbed his shoulders, "Allen wake up! It's a dream wake up!" Kanda shook the screaming man and told him to wake up. Allen opened his eyes still wet with fresh tear and threw himself into Kanda holding him tightly around his neck and just sobbed. Kanda instinctively put his arms around Allen and comforted him.

"Shh, you're okay now. I've got you." He whispered to him. "It was just a dream." After twenty minutes Allen loosened his grip around Kanda's neck and sat red faced and drained in front of him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kanda asked quietly, Allen shook his head no.

"Will you be alright now? Will you be able to go back to sleep or would you like some company?" Kanda asked.

Allen remained silent so Kanda took it as he could go back to his room. He got up and helped Allen onto the couch. When he was about to cover Allen up, Allen grabbed his hand and looked up at him with still teary eyes, "Will you stay with me please?"

Shocked by the helplessness in his eyes at that moment Kanda agreed and grabbed cover from his room and laid on the floor in front of the couch. Aside from Allen's sniffling the two slept soundly into the night.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Kanda awoke from the faint sound of his alarm blaring in his bedroom in the back; he sat up groggily slow to remember why he was on the floor. He glanced the watch on his wrist and jumped when he noticed the time and exclaimed, "Shit!" as he ran to his bedroom and quickly dressed himself. Kanda slung on his jacket as he headed back into the living room to a half awake Allen.

"Where are you going?" Allen asked still rubbing his eyes.

"I have to go to work, but you're welcome to anything in the fridge and there's a VCR in my room and I have bunch of movies you can help yourself to those as well; but I'm already late I can't stay. I'll do my best to bring you lunch this afternoon, so just use this day to relax." Grabbing his keys and slamming the doors behind him Kanda left, leaving Allen to continue to rub the sleep out of his eyes and get up to go to the bathroom.

After relieving himself and throwing water on his face to wake up, Allen walked into the kitchen and looked around. He then realized that for the first time in months he was alone.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::.

On the highway to the station Kanda flipped on the sirens and drive top speed, he did not want to hear it from his captain this morning. As he swerved into the parking lot, nearly missing the car parked beside him, he jumped out of the car and ran inside.

"Oooh, look who's late again." one officer exclaimed as everyone else joined in with oohs and other comments.

Kanda shot each and everyone them a well-deserved glared.

"Yuu!" a voiced bellowed from behind him. Kanda turned slowly to see his captain's angry scowl, "In my office now!"

"Yes sir." Kanda mumbled. The crowd of policeman said their low 'ooohs' as he made his way across the room to the Captains' office.

Kanda walked in and closed the door behind him and stood in front of the desk.

"I wanted to, congratulate you on your bust on the Marian Cross case, I was hoping it could've been a happy ending for them all but one is better than none.

Furthermore, I wanted to know when did you plan bringing our only witness in for questioning and his statement?"

Kanda piped up, " I already have it and I can repeat it to you word for word. "

"Did you get raped Kanda?" the Captain asked.

"No, but-"

"Were you held in a basement for a number of years that has yet to be determined?" he asked again.

"No." Kanda replied realizing where the conversation was going.

"Then I don't want to hear it come from your lips, you should know better than that."

"I don't think that he is up to all the stress-" Kanda began.

"That's not for you to decide, that's the psychiatrists problem." the captain said shuffling through a number of papers on his desk.

"I've got Lena lee on it and-"

He cut off Kanda again, "Do I pay Lena lee?"

"No sir."

"Then I don't want her damn opinion and do what I say Kanda. Bring the damn witness in for US to question him ourselves in OUR facilities."

"But Sir,-" Kanda started but was cut off from the captain throwing down his fist on the desk.

"Dammit Kanda, this isn't a discussion I want Allen Walker in here A. ., another word out of you that is not 'here's the statement' or 'here's the witness' will get you suspended. Do I make myself clear?" he shouted.

Kanda lowered his head and mumbled, "Yes sir." And left out of the office slamming the door behind him and headed towards the back parking lot of the station, anger flowing through him as he paced back and forth outside.

"Wanna smoke?" said his partner, Tyki Mikk, who sat on the small picnic table cleaning his glasses.

"Sure," Kanda replied and pushed Tyki's feet out of the chair they rested in and sat down, grabbing a cigarette from the carton and waiting as Tyki leaned forwards and lit it. "I could've lit it myself." Kanda told him as he blew out smoke.

"Yea, last time you said you would light it yourself I never got my lighter back." Tyki replied, "So what's up with you bringing that witness in? I wish I could've been there, but I guess being shot in the chest is a good enough excuse right." He chuckled a little.

"That wasn't funny, I thought you were gonna die." Kanda glared at him as Tyki continued to laugh, "and anyway, I had him staying at The Order and I had every intention on bringing him in; but one thing lead to another and I guess now you could say he's staying at my place and seeing Lenalee as a counselor."

"Whoa!" Tyki threw his cigarette to ground, "First off, do you realize how long it's been since you did the Cross bust? You're lucky you dodge Cap' for this long. Secondly, how did he end up your place?"

"Well, I don't really know myself it's just he and one of the other tenants got into an altercation and he called me. Keep in mind that this is after the fact that he pushed the same tenant down the stairs and broke his arm. He was doing so well at first." Kanda stated as he played with the falling ashes of his cigarette, "He really seems like a good guy, it's just that his fear of everyone motives keeps him distant.

"Well, all I can tell you is just get him in here soon, and I sure I can pull some favors with the Cap' so at least me or you are both in the room, because otherwise he'll have your ass on the other side of the glass taking notes." Tyki said as he walked back into the building. "Coming?"

Kanda threw the cigarette butt on the ground, "Yea, we've got a shit load of

cases today."

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Lavi walked down the street with his hood up pushing past all the people that were crammed at the crosswalk. He continued for about six blocks before he came to a house that had black curtains. He knocked on the door in a rhythmic pattern, which was returned with a different pattern; then Lavi took off his hood and stepped back from door, while the door crept open. Lavi walked inside and was patted down, before being guided down into the basement where eight other men and women were seated and shooting up.

"LAVI!" one severely skinny and clearly high woman came running up and hugged him. "I thought you forgot us."

"How could I?" Lavi half smiled and joined the group finding a three legged chair and balancing himself in it as he took off his jacket and slide up sleeves.

"Looks like someone's needing it bad tonight." One man laughed as he light the bottom of a folded clump of aluminum foil filled with the drug, then as it began to boil he stuck a needle in and filled it half way, "Hey don't jip me!" Lavi exclaimed, "I paid good money for that."

The man laughed again and continued to fill it. "Thank you." Lavi told him as he was handed the needle and a broken rubber band.

Lavi held the needle in his teeth as he fastened the band around his arm he plucked his arm a couple of times till a vein showed. He then gritted his teeth and shoved the needle inside, breathing in and out rapidly until the pain from the prick subsided. Lavi's eyes rolled to the back of his head in bliss until he fell out of the chair, but even then he just laid there.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

"So all this time you say your husband ignores you? Why do you think he does that?" Lenalee asked as she fixed tea for her afternoon client.

"I don't know I try to please him the best I can I think he has just stopped loving me." The woman began to cry.

'I wish she'd stopped her bitching and whining, I see why he doesn't want anything to do with her.' Lenalee thought.

"Here dear drink this it'll soothe you." Lenalee stated softly as she handed the woman the cup. "And as for your husband he hasn't stopped loving you, it seems as though he forgot how to love you. Maybe you just need to help him remember. Now you finish up your tea and get out of here so you can fix things with you husband."

The woman smiled and nodded, "What would I do without you?" Lenalee shrugged and walked the woman to the door. "See you next time." They hugged and the woman left.

"UGH! GOD! Why did I choose this job again?!" Lenalee exclaimed as she took her hair down, and plopped down behind her desk. She stared around the empty room, 'Despite being alone, I'm doing pretty well for myself.'

"Well I won't be alone for too much longer, he'll come around." Lenalee said aloud as she pulled old college photos from her desk, pushing away the pictures of the past patients she'd killed.

'You've been saying that since your freshman year, get it together he doesn't want you.' she told herself as she skimmed the pictures of her, Kanda and a few old friends.

"He'll come around especially now since I took care of Alma." She replied to herself. 'No he won't you broke him when you killed Alma, you broke him and you've been trying to fix him ever since. Too bad Lena-bitch it won't happen. You should've just stayed with your boyfriend.'

"How could I? He made me feel so- so unhappy,so worthless." She lingered on a picture her and shorter man, "I used to love him, (short neck fucker) I loved him so much. We could've gotten married (not to that shriveled dick asshole)." She took out a lighter from the top drawer and began to burn the picture. "He screamed didn't he? So loud, so very loudly (especially when we lit his ass up like Christmas tree). That was the first time I met Kanda, he thought he was saving me (all he did was buy that fucker more time to breathe). Kanda…"

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Lenalee's screams had brought Kanda bursting through the door of her shared off campus house and knocking her boyfriend to the floor. Aiming punches till the man started to scream, "Keep that crazy bitch away from me!"

Lenalee screamed and cried, "He tried to rape me Kanda, I didn't know what to do!"

"Dumb bitch stabbed me for no fucking reason!" He boyfriend shouted as he pushed Kanda off of him and stood in the doorway picking up the lava lamp and hurling at Lenalee, "I just walked in the door and she fucking stabbed me for no reason!"

"You hit me, you tried to rape me!" Lenalee continued to state.

"Bitch I didn't even touch you! I didn't even know you were here. It was dark as shit in this house."

Kanda looked in between them both trying to piece together what had happened and what was going on. "Explain this shit to me, I'm confused." Kanda pointed at the boyfriend, "You came in the house and you say she just stabbed you and you," he turned towards Lenalee, " you said he tried to rape you and beat you? Correct?"

The boyfriend with his face red and chest heaving, "Fuck this! You wanna take her side go ahead, I'm out before this bitch kills me!" he ran out of the house and drove off.

Kanda went over to a sobbing Lenalee and wrapped his arms around her, "It's okay, he didn't hurt you too bad did he?"

"I'm just a little shakened is all." Lenalee said leaning into Kanda's chest.

"You want me to call someone? The cops, a friend? You shouldn't be alone, he might come back." Kanda told her as he let her out of the embrace and she sat on her couch.

"No, I think I need to be alone. Thanks anyway Kanda." She said wiping tears away, "You can go now please."

"I really don't think you should be by yourself." Kanda said advancing on her.

"Please, go. I'm fine and he'll get what's coming to him Kanda it'll be okay." Lenalee as she looked down at the floor, "Just go."

"Are you-"

"GO!"

Kanda left her sobbing on the couch and closed the door behind him, he stayed outside of her house for two hours before he saw all her lights switch off and he assumed she went to bed.

Two weeks after the incident Lenalee found herself waiting in the trunk of her soon to be ex-boyfriends' car as he drove off to his early morning run. As he arrived and parked she waited forty minutes till she pulled the latch on the inside of the trunk and got out. She grabbed her water bottle filled with gasoline, a face towel, a lighter and a gun with a silencer in case things didn't move along fast enough.

Having gone on this trail numerous times before, she knew it's every twist and turn and shortcuts. She decided to cut across the forest and meet him at his half way point, which to her advantage; was a heavily wooded area and she waited gun in hand. She could hear his labored breathing before she saw him and she positioned herself to shoot out his knees as he ran by her. He ran by and she counted to ten and jumped from the bushes and shot him twice in both knees. She smiled at herself and thought, 'All those hours at the gun range had paid off.'

He went down howling, and she quickly ran top of him pointing the gun in his face as she stuck the towel in his mouth.

"You thought you could get away from me! I own you, I told you you were mine and mine alone. I didn't even want you to breath another woman's name. Now look what you went and did, you brought this on yourself!"

Her scared boyfriend spit out the cloth, "HELP! HELP ME! HELP!" Lenalee slapped him twice with gun, "Shut the hell up!" she put the cloth back in his mouth, and proceeded to shoot both his arms at the shoulder blades. His face turned an unearthly shade of purple as he screamed into the towel.

"I thought I could love you, I thought I could make do and put up with you long enough to have a family, but NOOOO! You had to go screwing around!" she growled at him. She went and grabbed the gas filled bottle from the bushes threw the cap on the ground and poured some onto the washcloth still in his mouth and poured the rest on his body. She checked his pockets for any identification and took his car keys. After she searched him she flicked the lighter and placed it to his mouth and watched as he screamed helpless trying to spit out the cloth. She watched while it started to bubble the flesh around his mouth and work its way up his face, she could still see him crying as the fire consumed his face and the rest of his body. She ran off to his car and drove to the nearest scrap metal place after taking off the tags and emptying the car of all his personal items. She then took her clothes home, washed them and took them to the salvation army two towns over and the stuff she took from his car she ran it through an office shredder and put in the dumpster of a random restaurant. After she had finished, Lenalee returned home, she went out to dinner with Kanda, who had insisted that she get out of the house.


	14. Chapter 14

:Present Day::

Kanda mentally told himself to quit staring at Lenalee as she laid there in the hospital bed with cords and wires reaching from different angles to her still her body. Her eyes did not open as Kanda reached forward and touched her face. She felt clammy and slightly cold to the touch, the only reason Kanda knew she was alive was the constant beep of the machine beside him told him as much.

:: The Past ::

The sun blared through the boarded up windows while voices shouted around him and Lavi groaned as a foot found itself in his rib cage.

"Get the hell up man!" a rushed voice told him as he pushed off the limb and jumped up. His were eyes wild as he scratched at his dry throat while looking around at the plethora of running junkies and cops that surrounded him. A strong hand pushed him into the wall and cuffed him, the jagged pieces of drywall cut into his face as he attempted to struggle against the cop.

"Don't you fucking think about it." The cop told him as he yanked Lavi backwards off the wall and pushed him outside towards the already packed Police van. As he was shoved inside, Lavi took one quick look around him and hung his head.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Lenalee drove along the quiet road, lost in deep thought before she was made aware of her surroundings by a sudden thump coming from the back of her seat. She shifted her gaze to the back seat where a woman was lying. She looked confused as she became aware of her surrounding and Lenalee smiled.

"I thought that I'd hit you too hard." Lenalee said to the woman. "You've been out for so long. Good thing you're up now though because we don't have that much longer to go."

The woman began to look worried and perplexed, "Oh and don't worry your husband won't won't even miss you.I took the liberty of writing your note."

"Hmm!" the woman sounded.

"Yes, your note. You know how depressed you've been lately, how therapy just hasn't been working out and you stopped taking your meds." Lenalee began to laugh, "He just doesn't love you anymore."

The woman struggled in the back, as Lenalee continued talking, "I've already got my response planned out too," Lenalee glanced back into the rearview, "You know when they come to question me about it."

She began to scrunch up her face and sniffled, "I thought I was helping her, I thought she was making progress. This is was so unexpected." Tears had actually begun to fall from her eyes before she wiped them away and laughed.

Lenalee had come to a stop and cut the car off, "Well, I guess this is goodbye, you've shown me a lot I just wish it didn't have to come to this." Lenalee got out of the car, and opened the back doors and sat the woman, "I can't just drag you out of the car, can't having them saying it's a possibility that you were murdered." She undid the tape around the woman's ankles and pulled out of the car. "Gotdamn you're heavy!" Lenalee huffed as she yanked her to her feet. As soon as the woman got to her feet, she landed a swift kick to Lenalee abdomen, knocking her to the ground and took off running.

Lenalee laughed as she got up and shouted after her, "I knew you would do that!"

Lenalee began to chase the woman, "It's too early in the morning for this shit! Get back here and I'll make it painless!"


	15. Chapter 15

Kanda and Tyki arrived back at the police station just in time to see the narcotics team arrive with a van full of people.

"Damn,guess someone's been doing their homework." Tyki said walking in the building behind the group of criminals.

"Guess so." Kanda muttered, uninterested in the matter. The two walked back to their corner where they did most of their case work, and sat down. "So what all evidence do we have?"

Tyki, who had taken a few folders out of his desk, tossed one to Kanda, "We've got the weapon,the body and at least three suspects."

"Yeah, but two of them an actual albi, the third I just don't believe his bullshit." Kanda said looking at the photos of the crimes scene. Seeing the bruises on the woman in the photo reminded Kanda of the photos he'd seen of Allen.

"Ok, but us not believing a word he says is not going to put him behind bars, is it? Come on think man, did he ever tell exactly what he was doing at the time she was getting her skull bashed in?" Tyki said going through a few of the notes he'd made throughout the folder.

"Uh," Kanda flipped through his own notes, "Not exactly, he said that he was just in the company of some friends; but how trustworthy is that shit? They're his friends."

"Exactly,"Tyki said and put his head down on the desk. "I'm getting nowhere right now."

Just as he did the Captain came up to their desks, "Mikki, do you get paid to sleep? Or do you get paid catch criminals? Get your damn head up and work!" Tyki sat up quickly. "This ain't some grade school test you can sleep through,a woman is dead."

"Did you come over here to yell or do you need something Cap?" Kanda asked closing his folder and looking at the man standing in front of him.

The Captain narrowed his eyes at Kanda, "Yea, I need a few things from the both of you. I need you and Tyki to go help out the narcs and question some of the junkies this morning to see who we need to detain. Then, I want at least some kind of report on this case on my desk before you ?"

The two men both mumbled some form of yes and went to work.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Lavi sat in the holding cell with six other people, rubbing his temples. 'How do I keep getting myself into this shit?'

"Bookman! Lavi Bookman!" an officer shouted, "You're next."

Lavi got up and followed the officer, "Go sit."

"Am I going to be here long?" Lavi asked.

The officer rolled his eyes and said, "Like you have somewhere important to be,reject. Just take your damn seat and wait."

The officer closed the door to the interrogation room and Lavi went and put his head down on the table.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

The woman stood with her back against the tree as she tried to bite through the tape on her wrists, every other second she was looking on either side of her making sure Lenalee was nowhere in sight.

As she continued to tear at the tape, she began to realize Lenalee had stop screaming at her, and it was unnaturally quiet, nothing but the expected forest sounds were heard. She stopped trying to take off the tape and began to panic. She realized she was being hunted now, her heart raced as she turned to look around her taking in the fact that she didn't know where she was or where Lenalee was. She couldn't see her, she couldn't hear her; the woman decided to make a quick dash to another tree and hide there.

'Maybe if i keep moving, it'll be harder to find me. She won't be able to keep this up for too long.' the woman thought as she made a run for the next largest tree she saw.

With her back to it, she looked around both side again. She tried to rip off some more of the tape while she stood there. As she began to break through she thought she'd heard something crack behind her. She stilled herself, and slowly peered around both side of the tree. Seeing nothing, she decided to move again; this time making sure she ran a little quicker.

With the next tree behind her, she continued once more to bite at the tape, seeing that she was starting to make some progress she started to focus all her attention to it. As the tape loosened more, she ignored that fact that the rustling behind her was more than just the leaves blowing in the breeze.

As the last of the tape dropped to the ground, the woman smiled at the small accomplishment; as soon as she had done so, she felt a heavy force hit her on the side of her head. After she'd hit the ground she clutched the side of her head and looked up.

Lenalee stood over her, smiling and sweating, "Gotcha."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clue how to put stuff in italics.

"If you're hungry then you'll eat what I place in front of you!" Cross shouted as he punched Krory across the face with all his force. Krory fell over, dragging Allen with him because they were chained together. Krory pushed himself back up, and glared directly back in Cross' face, "I'm not a dog and I'm not eating dog food."

"You dare disrespect me in front of clients!" Cross grabbed Krory by the throat and repeatedly hit him in his head, Allen turned his head, shut his eyes and remained silent.

"Please just eat the food." he mumbled to himself. "Please."

Cross had tossed Krory down and wiped the blood on his pants, turning his attention to Allen, "Maybe you'll be more compliant." Allen glanced at Krory and then back at Cross, he felt his breath get caught in his throat. Cross kicked the dog bowl in front of Allen.

"Don't do it Allen, you're not an animal." Krory strained to say, Cross then kicked Krory in the throat. "Shut the fuck up! Eat the goddamn food."

Allen leaned forward on all his hands and knees, "Good boy."Cross said to him as he choked down the dog food. "Eat up."

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Kanda had finished up a few of the interviews and slipped his remaining paperwork onto his captain's desk. Tyki had told Kanda that he would finish the remaining interviews and that he should go on home to prepare Allen for tomorrow. Kanda agreed and left, on his way home he stopped by a drive-thru burger place and grabbed something for he and Allen to eat.

Once at home, Kanda had come into the sounds of Allen throwing up.

He went to the bathroom and knocked, "Just wanted to let you know I'm back." Allen didn't give a response. "Um, I bought a couple of burgers back, they'll be in the fridge if you get to feeling better." This prompted another round of vomiting, "Do you need me to bring you anything?" Kanda asked and was once again met with silence.

"Well when you finish up in there we need to talk."

Kanda walked away from the bathroom and went into his room, and threw himself on the bed, before long he's fallen asleep.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

"Kanda!" Tyki rushed up to him, "Why haven't you been answering your phone! Something's happened to Alma, he's on his way to the hospital. Lenalee's with him." Kanda was stunned, he'd dropped the printouts of the criminals he held and ran to his truck. He flipped his sirens on and drove full speed to the hospital trying to ring Lenalee as he drove.

"Kanda I don't know what happened." Lenalee sniffled. "He walked out before I did. I came outside he was lying on the ground!"

"How is he? How's he doing? Is the baby okay?" Kanda shouted as he narrowly missed a few cars.

"I don't know, he's not can't get him to respond." Lenalee said with heavy sobs that followed.

Kanda swerved into the parking lot of the hospital and jumped out of the car, dropping his phone on the seat as the ambulance pulled into the entrance and the EMTs jumped out. Running towards them, Kanda shouted Alma's name. Lenalee jumped out of ambulance behind them and was headed inside behind them. Kanda, once inside, rushed to Alma's side.

"Why isn't he breathing!" he shouted at the EMTs, "Wake up Alma!"

"Sir you need to move." one woman told him as she began to perform CPR on Alma.

Lenalee came up behind Kanda and grabbed him, "Let's let them work. We have to let them do their job Kanda." Kanda grabbed as his hair as they wheeled Alma behind the emergency surgery doors. Kanda paced the waiting room for what seemed like eons until a somber faced doctor came out of surgery.

"Would you please follow me." The doctor said to Kanda and Lenalee, he led them into an empty exam room.

"I am sorry to inform you sir, but we did all we could for him and the baby but we lost them both."

Lenalee gasped loudly and Kanda blinked, "I'm sorry what? What are you saying?" Tears painted his cheeks, "Alma is dead?"

Kanda grabbed the doctor by his shirt, "You're lying!"

"Kanda let him go!" Lenalee told him as she grabbed his wrists.

"Go wake him up! Go bring him to me! He's not dead!" Kanda shook the doctor, "Let me go!" the doctor shouted at him.

"KANDA!"

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Allen stood in Kanda's bedroom door and watched as the man thrashed and moaned incoherent words in his sleep. Allen walked over to the bed and gently pushed Kanda, "Kanda." he said softly. He didn't stir, he nudged him again, "Kanda." He pushed a little harder, and suddenly Kanda's arm lashed out and hit his face. Kanda popped up and saw Allen holding his busted lip.

"I am so sorry Allen." Kanda said quickly as he got off the bed and faced Allen.

"It's okay really." Allen told him looking at the barely visible amount of blood on his hands.

"Here, let me see." Kanda reached for his chin and moved head up towards the light. Allen went to slap his hand away, but Kanda had let go.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Allen asked.

Kanda sat back on the bed and motioned Allen to do the same.

"Well, I tried to give your statement to my captain but he said, and he's completely right; that you have to come in and personally give your statement. Otherwise it'll never be able to go to to trial."

Allen looked at him for a while, he hadn't seen actual people that were outside of the circle he'd grown accustomed to. A chill trickled through his body, but he nodded and said "Okay."

Kanda had been fearing the worst but the monotone 'okay' took him by surprise. "Also, I've been told to take you back to The Order. If the prosecuting attorney were to find out you are staying with me it would be considered witness tampering or something along those lines."

Allen's eyes began to tear up at the thought of returning after what Lavi did, after he found out. ' How can I face anyone in that house? He's probably told everyone.' Allen looked up at Kanda, 'He probably just wants his space back anyway.'

"That's fine." Allen replied, getting up from the bed and beginning to leave the room.

Kanda got up behind him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "I'm not putting you out or anything. If that's what you're thinking. It's just-"

"Really, it's okay." Allen told him pushing his hand off his shoulder. " There's no need to explain further."

Kanda stood taken aback as Allen shuffled back to the living room.

..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Lenalee had finally returned home in a panicked state, she thought she'd been spotted. She also thought that the woman had managed to grab a few of her hairs. Even though, after she'd killed the woman she'd gone through the trouble of cutting her nails she couldn't be sure. Lenalee looked at herself in the mirror, eyeing her long locks.

'Would it be too drastic to cut my hair, too noticeable?'

'Nobody's even found the body calm your nerves.' She told herself as she walked from the bathroom to the bedroom where she had the victim's clothes in a plastic bag on her bed.

'First things first burn these, flush the ashes, clean the drains.'

"Right." Lenalee replied aloud.

'The fingernails too, toss 'em. They don't disintegrate, so keeping them ain't an option.'

"Why would I want to keep them?" She asked herself.

'Why did you take them?' She replied.

Lenalee shook her head and went to start a fire in her fireplace. She tossed the clothes in, fingernails as well. She stood hypnotized by the flames as she watched the clothes turn to ash.

..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Tyki walked into the viewing room adjacent to where the last interrogation was being conducted.

"Lavi Bookman." the officer said, banging on the table and jolting the man out of his sleep.

The man lifted his head off the table and look up at the officer with bloodshot eyes and anger.

"Criminals don't get to sleep." The officer told him, throwing a folder on the table. "You and your junkie buddies were pretty surprised this morning huh?" he laughed.

"Yea, whatever." Lavi said, putting his head back down on the table.

"Well you wanna tell me who the leader of this little drug ring is?" the officer asked.

Lavi sighed loudly into the table, "If I knew I would tell you."

The officer was growing agitated by Lavi's nonchalant behaviour, "Sit up when I fucking talk to you."

Tyki, on the other side of the glass, gave the officer a disapproving look. 'You don't have to talk to him like that.' He thought.

Lavi continued to lay his head on the table, "When can I leave? Don't I get a phone call?"

The officer banged on the table yet again, Lavi sat up and gave the man a tired look. "What are you three? You need to chill."

"Don't tell me to chill," the officer growled at him, "I'm the one doing this interview. Not you. You tell me what I need to know and I might let you get your beauty sleep."

"Yea whatever." Lavi laid his head down once again, "You've only asked me one question and I already told what I know."

The officer's face turned red, "Do you know these people?" As he slid some pictures to Lavi.

"No." Lavi said.

"You didn't even look." The officer told him.

"Don't have to, I don't know anyone who was in that building personally. Everyone either goes by a nickname or first name." Lavi explained. "Not like I see them outside of their or care enough to."

"You know what?" the officer started, "I hate your kind. The high and mighty drug addict, the my life was so hard that's why I turned to drugs type." The officer leaned forward and forcefully pushed Lavi's head off the table. "Well, I don't time for these games today," the officer stood up and slung the table to the side. He grabbed the pictures off the table and flung them in Lavi's face.

"Tell me their names, you piece of shit." The officer said as he grabbed the back of Lavi's head, "Or I'll -

"DETECTIVE!" Tyki burst through the door, "What the hell is this? This how they teach you new guys to interview witnesses?" Tyki pushed the officer off of Lavi.

"If this young man wanted to, he could press charges and end your career right here for police brutality." Tyki said further pushing the man towards the door. "Get the fuck up outta here, you're lucky I don't strike you where you stand." Tyki threatened.

The officer shot Tyki a dirty look and stomped out of the room, "Stupid fuck what was he thinking." he mumbled as he set the room back in order.

"Is this some good cop, bad cop thing?" Lavi asked.

Tyki turned and smiled at him, "Heavens no, you don't have enough intel for that kind of routine."

"Then what was all that?" Lavi questioned motioning to where the officer was.

"I honestly couldn't tell you, I've been out of commission for a while and I think he's a rookie." Tyki told him as he picked the pictures up off the floor.

"Out of commission?" Lavi repeated staring at Tyki as he straightened up the room.

"Yea, got shot in the chest, could've died but I guess I've more stuff to accomplish." Tyki laughed, "So, you ready go home?"

…..


	17. Chapter 17

Kanda set up the camera in the interrogation room, while Allen sat staring at him with wide eyes. Kanda saw him looking and reassured him, "This is just for documentation purposes, no one will see this except the officers and lawyers on your case."

Allen swallowed and nodded.

"Hey, are you going to stay in here or are you going to watch from the window? Tyki said to Kanda as he came into the room.

"It's probably best if I'm not in here. I'll probably just finish up some paperwork instead." Kanda said as he clicked the 'on' button on the camera. "Here", he handed the remote to Tyki, "It's ready for when you are." Kanda then left the room, shutting the door behind him. He stood in the hallway as he debated on whether to watch or not. Then he decided that he would go finish his other cases paperwork, he didn't want to see Allen relive that pain.

::..::..::..::..::..::..:::..::..::..::...::..:::..::..

Tyki sat down in front of Allen, who didn't couldn't even meet his eyes. He didn't want to be the one to make him relive this experience but it had to be done.

He pressed the record button on the remote, "My name is Detective Tyki Mikki, please state your name for the record."

"Allen Walker." The boy spoke softly.

"A little louder please." Tyki told him.

He cleared his throat, "Allen Walker."

"I will begin to ask you a few questions about Cross Marian and your affiliation with him and other various connected parties." Tyki said as he opened Allen's folder and leafed through a few pages. He began asking him the standard questions and that went on for about an hour, nearing the end of the interrogation, Tyki pulled out photos and placed them down in front of Allen.

"Can you tell him what occurred in this photo?"

Allen looked up from picking his nails and stared at the picture in front of him, his eyes began to well up, "I was cut open...by Cross and someone he claimed was a doctor."

"Why were you cut open?" Tyki asked seeing the man's expression twist in from of him.

"Because, I had -um, carried our -my baby to term and it was time… to um-to…" Allen began to shake.

"You were pregnant?" Tyki asked. "Was the baby Cross'?"

"He thought it was,-" Allen's voice was breaking, his breathing was becoming heavy, "he made most of the clients I had wear a condom, except for certain ones, but he mostly kept me for himself. So he assumed that my baby was his."

"Why did he let you keep the baby? Were there plans to keep the child after it had been born?" Tyki asked.

Allen placed a hand to his stomach and cried, "He took my baby from me…"

"Mr. Walker? Allen, do you need a moment?" Tyki asked as he fished a handkerchief from his pocket to hand to him.

Allen cried harder and harder, Tyki stood up and pulled the table away from Allen as he slide to the floor and cried into it.

"My baby…" Allen started, "...my baby was taken from me…"

"He gave your baby away? For profit? Do you know who bought the child." Tyki prodded thinking that was what he was implying.

"No!" Allen screamed, getting up from the floor and running to the door. Tyki beat him there and didn't allow him to leave. "Let me out!" Allen hollered.

"Just answer the question and we can stop this." Tyki said calmly while trying to place his hand on Allen's shoulders.

Allen pushed him back, "Where's Kanda?"

"What happened to your child Allen?"

Ignoring him, "I don't want to be here anymore I'm ready to go."

"Just answer the question and you can leave." Tyki said softly, trying to keep a calm and even voice. "Just tell me what happened to him? Who took him?"

Allen ran his hand roughly through hair and paused as if to pull it out, he looked at Tyki with the most pain filled eyes Tyki had ever seen, making him regret asking.

"He snapped my son's neck, the doctor told him it wasn't his- said it didn't look like him-so he snapped my son's neck." Allen had begun to dry heave. "He bashed my baby's head into the table! And I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't move- I was strapped to the table,-my baby was screaming-screaming!"

Tyki held his hand over his mouth in disbelief, staring at the man as he crumpled to the floor again, he clicked the remote for the camera and turned it off. He ran a hand over his face as walked over to Allen.

"Do you want me to-" he knelt down beside the broken man and placed on his back, only to be shrugged off again.

"Kanda.." Was all Allen said.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::...::..::..::..::..::..::

On the ride to The Order in Kanda's truck, Allen cried continuously with both arms wrapped tightly around his stomach. They'd come to a stop outside of The Order, and Kanda waited; hoping the the crying would subside a bit but it didn't.

Kanda got out the truck and walked to the passenger's side to help Allen out. He opened the door and gently grabbed one of Allen's hands, "Come on. Let's get you inside." he whispered.

Allen moved slowly, getting out of the truck and as soon as he feet had touched the ground, he had begun to sink to his knees again.

"No, no, no. Not out here." Kanda said helping him up.

"I don't wanna be here." Allen cried, "Take me back with you."

Kanda's eyes widened at that and abruptly began to apologize, "You know you have to go here, I can't have you with me anymore."

Allen threw his arm over his eyes to cover the new flood of tears. Kanda's had suddenly felt like the butterflies in his stomach were slowly dying. "Come here." He told Allen pulling his arm down and pulling him closer to him. Allen's head was now on Kanda's shoulder and Kanda held him in a tight embrace, caressing the back of his head and allowing the man to cry on him.

"Once the trial is over, I'll see if it's okay for you to come with me." Kanda promised, "I don't think it'll do you any good to be alone at my house though; I think it's best if you stay here. You know, to have some sort of stability in your life, to get you back on your feet." Kanda believed that he Allen hadn't a word he'd said and just shut up and let the man cry until he stopped almost thirty minutes later.

"I'll walk you to the door and then I gotta go okay?" Kanda told him as he rubbed the man's shoulders.

Allen just looked away, red faced, bleary eyed and tired from all that crying.

Once at the door, Kanda knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer, "Everything will be fine."

Lavi was the one to open the door to the office and Allen hugging on the porch, "Get some rest okay." Kanda said leaving Allen to shuffle in the house past Lavi.

"What happened to you today?" Lavi questioned as he followed the man to their shared room, "Still not talking to me? Are you still angry at me for reading your file?" Allen remained silent as he climbed into bed and hid under the covers. "Well, for what it's worth welcome back."

::..::..::..::..:::..::.::..::..::..::.:::.::.::.::.::

Kanda had showed up late to the courthouse, he rushed down the halls to the room where the last day of Allen's trial was taking place. Once inside he sat in the last row and listened as the lawyers argue with one another, determining the fate of the man they caught the day they found Allen. Allen was called to the stand and Kanda watched him visibly weaken at all the questions that poke all the right subjects.

'He's shaking again.' Kanda noticed.

"Hey can you scooch over?" Kanda looked up to see Lenalee's ill fitting smile, standing beside him. He slide over and turned his attention back to Allen, fighting the urge to run up there and hold him.

"How's he doing?" Lenalee asked.

"He's answering the questions but it's hurting him." Kanda replied, Lenalee looked at Kanda's concerned expression towards the boy.

'Why's he so concerned? After this is over, he'll just be another victim he helped.' Lenalee thought as she absentmindedly reached for her hair, then remembering she'd cut it off. They watched the rest of the trial in silence and after the closing arguments and jury deliberation, they'd decided the man was guilty and would be sentenced to jail time.

Kanda and Lenalee waited for Allen to come out of the courtroom, "You know we should take him to get something to eat, he probably hasn't been eating properly." Lenalee suggested.

"That's not such a bad idea." Kanda agreed, still searching the crowd for Allen.

"I cut my hair," Lenalee announced as she smoothed the back of her head. Kanda gave her a quick glance, then stated, "Looks strange on you. Why the change?"

Lenalee lifted a brow, " 'Scuse Me?"

"I mean it's not ugly or anything, it's just not what I'm use to." Kanda said and walked away towards Allen as she shuffled out of the room.

Lenalee watched as he put his arm around Allen's shoulders and comforted him. Lenalee narrowed her eyes and she watched the two interact, 'Surely he's just going above and beyond to make sure he's okay.'

'Better be.' The her inner voice said.

Lenalee walked briskly over, "Let's go to this nice restaurant on the other side of town. Can you drive Kanda?"

"There's not enough room in my truck for all three of us." Kanda stated.

"Well, you can drive my car." Lenalee said and the three of them went to Lenalee's car. Lenalee watched as Kanda opened the backdoor on the drivers side for Allen to get in and closed it behind him. Then he got in the car and looked at Lenalee, "Does that door not work? Did I not unlock it?"

Lenalee's head gave and almost unnoticeable twitch before she laughed and said, "I was lost in thought."

The car ride was uneventful and littered with mainly the ramblings and small talk of Lenalee. They'd ate at the restaurant in the same manner, Lenalee asking Allen unanswered questions,asking Kanda about his most recent cases. The two men seemed to ignore her, Kanda, though engaged in her conversation; was mostly focusing on the man beside him who barely touched his food. After they'd left the restaurant Kanda said he'd be dropping Allen off first.

Once at The Order, Kanda opened the door for Allen walked him the door. Lenalee watched as the men held a small conversation outside the door, she watched as Kanda offered his best smile and brought Allen closer for a hug.

Lenalee was having a hard time controlling her facial expressions as she watched him tightly embrace this man.

'The fuck does he think he's doing?" The inner voice questioned.

'It's nothing but a hug, something everyone does.' Lenalee reassured herself.

'He doesn't hug you like that, he hugs you like his frail grandmother.' The voice spoke again.

'He's just being nice.' Lenalee said.

'I don't think I want him being **nice** anymore.'

Kanda came back to the car and the two rode in silence back to the courthouse to pick up Kanda's truck.

"Thanks for the evening, for being so thoughtful and considerate especially for Allen." Kanda told her as they switched vehicles.

"It was no problem." Lenalee smiled, "Well I'll see you soon Kanda." She said to him and went to hug him. He gave her a quick one armed hug and a peck on the forehead.

"Yeah, see you around. Have a good night." He said and got into his truck and drove off.

'Allen Walker had better watch it before he gets what's coming to him.'


	18. Chapter 18

"Hey,it's me again..." Allen paused, "Call me when you get a chance. Bye." Allen hung the phone up and placed it back on the receiver. He lost himself for a bit, his mind racing through with different reasons why Kanda hadn't called him in a couple months.   
'Probably busy, he is a police officer after all.' Allen told himself as he headed back to the his and Lavi's room. He walked in to see Lavi pull on a loose t shirt. 

"I'm going out tonight, I know you always say no; but do you want to come?" Lavi asked searching the room for his shoes.

"No, it's good. I'll stay here." Allen said as he laid down on his bed and watched Lavi get ready.

" I know you're not waiting on his phone call, are you?" Lavi asked from under his bed, throwing shoes out at random. 

"He might call."Allen told him.

"Yea right...it's like i told you when you got back. All that.'I'm your friend ' crap and 'I'll always be there' bullshit is over now." Lavi told him bluntly as he got out from under his bed with the missing shoe. "Your case is solved, Allen. It's time to move on to the next sob story." 

Allen glared at Lavi, "He isn't like that. He called me a few times before." 

"Uh duh..you leave like a dozen voicemails everyday. Face it, he had a job to do, and he did it. Seems like he moved on,so maybe you should too." Lavi told him as came over and sat on Allen's bed. 

"Now the way I see it, you can either lay here and rot, waiting for a call you may or may not hear in this lifetime. Ooooor..., " Lavi grinned down at Allen, " for once in your pathetic little life you can go out and enjoy yourself." 

Allen sat up and looked at Lavi, "I've never been to any party or anything like that before. I wouldn't know what to do." 

"You have to do anything but enjoy yourself." Lavi told him.

Allen seemed to debate for a while, before he gave Lavi a sheepish smile, "I don't have anything to wear."

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Kanda came into the house threw his jacket on the floor. He kicked off his shoes as he walked towards the kitchen, pressing the answering machine on the end table on his way. 

...' You have 12 messages marked for deletion...'

...'First message'...

"Hey Kanda, it's me Lenalee. Wanna meet up for coffee?" 

Kanda sighed, he felt bad he had been ignoring her lately he had been so caught up in work. Staking places out for hours, days at a time even. He fixed himself a sandwich as he listened to the rest of the messages. Most of them were from Lenalee or Tyki, strangely though he hadn't heard one message from Allen in months. 

He sat on the couch eating his sandwich listening to the rest of them, then a message marked for earlier on in the day played...

"Hey,it's me again...Call me when you get a chance. Bye." 

Kanda stopped eating, he hadn't heard Allen's voice in so long he had forgotten how it sounded.

'He said again,so he must have left multiple messages before that. Why haven't i been getting his messages?' Kanda thought.   
'Maybe this machine is faulty and deleted all the previous messages.' 

Kanda got up from the couch and headed to his room, "I'll call him tomorrow first thing." he said aloud as he fell onto his bed and went to sleep.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Lavi pushed on the door of a house with music blaring from every crack in the walls. Cheap lights blinded the pair as they squeezed in further between the grinding bodies of the other party go-ers. Allen began to get a little tense, he hadn't been this close to people since he left the hospital. Lavi kept a strong arm around Allen's shoulders as they walked through the crowds.

"Let's find us some drinks!" Lavi shouted in his ear to be heard over the music. Allen nodded in agreement and followed Lavi closely through til they found a table arranged with every bottle of alcohol Allen could name and some he didn't even recognize. Pills were strewn about in between the already empty punch bowls and Lavi picked one up and looked at it. Allen watched him as Lavi held it up closer to his eyes to get a better look. After a couple of seconds Lavi popped it in his mouth, he glanced over at Allen and grinned.

"Do you even know what that was?!" Allen shouted as he leaned in.

Lavi shrugged and shook his head. Allen didn't have time to worried about his friend before Lavi fixed them both a few shots to drink and was trying to shove them in Allen's face. 

Lavi leaned forward and told Allen to loosen up. Allen took the first three shots hesitantly, not enjoying the burning of the liquor as it swept down his throat. He wanted to go sit down somewhere but Lavi had him take more shots til the point where it didn't even phase him.

Lavi had begun to talk to some guy who walked up to the table and ended up leaving Allen wandering by himself. Allen stumbled towards a less crowded area around the pool. He sat near the edge of the pool and took his shoes off letting the leg of his jeans get soaked. The sky above him swirled, and Allen swayed back and forth, smiling at his lack of control. He felt the probing touch of a smiling man who sat down beside him across his back and went instantly rigid. The man rubbed circles in the small of Allen's back as he talked nonsensical words to him. Allen's clouded mind was in turmoil, he wanted to run from the man but the soft touches that started on his back were on his thigh now and his survival instincts began to kick in.

The man began playing with the flying strands of Allen's hair and stroking his cheek. Allen drunkenly leaned in the caress giggling like a schoolgirl at the man's words. 

Lavi chased his choice of the night into the backyard, making strange growling noises behind him, until he saw Allen sitting by the pool with some strange guy. Lavi stood in place for a while watching the guy as he slid his hands up and down all over Allen. Before Lavi knew what he was doing he was standing behind the man.

"Who is this Allen?" The red face of his friend half smiled back at him as he shrugged.

"I dunno know." he slurred and threw an arm around the man putting his head against the other man's shoulder.

The man slid his hands up the back of Allen's shirt and Lavi saw him shiver but Allen said nothing while his body language betrayed him. 

This is what he used to do on a daily basis for years, of course he's not gonna object. Lavi thought, still watching the two.

"Maybe we should leave huh Allen?" Lavi grabbed at the arm dangling across the other man's back.  
"Let's go."

"Ay! Let the bitch go boy! Go get yo own!" the unknown man snapped at Lavi as he snatched Allen's arm back from him. 

Lavi rolled his eyes at the man, "Allen come on and get up." He grabbed for him again but this time the man pushed him back. 

"I said get back boy!" the man threatened as he stood up and got in Lavi's face. 

Lavi pushed the man back, "Get outta my way." He reached beyond the man to yank Allen up.

“Grab your shoes and let’s go.” He told Allen, the man snatched Lavi back by his shirt and punched him in the jaw. Lavi instinctively sent a fist flying back in the man’s direction only to his the side of the man’s neck instead of his face. The man swung again, this time hitting Lavi in the stomach and kneeing him in his nose as he kneeled over; sending Lavi to the ground. Allen swayed in Lavi’s direction on the ground only to be grabbed by the unknown man. Wiping his bloodied nose, Lavi got up and rushed the man sending him, the unknown guy and an unsuspecting Allen flying into the pool. 

The water tossed Allen around and the chlorine burned his frantic eyes as he searched for up. He felt a kick which sent him down further into the pool. Allen never learned to swim so as he reached for anything to grab onto he panicked, he lungs felt constricted and crushed. He felt as though his all his kicking and movement were in vain, he wasn’t moving and he was running out of air. Allen found himself looking closely at the bottom of the pool as his lungs gave and gasped for air. 

Above the water, Lavi popped up and slung the water off his face, seeing through half opened eyes as the guy climbed out of the pool cursing and angry, storming off in the direction of the house party. Lavi swam to the edge and climbed out as well looking for Allen, he looked behind him and saw nothing but Allen’s shoes floating on the surface of the pool. Lavi wiped the rest of the water out of his eyes and off of his face and peered more closely into the pool and saw Allen’s body slowly returning to the surface. 

Lavi shouted to Allen before he jumped back into the pool and struggled to bring Allen to the surface, the more sober onlookers helped Lavi pull Allen out of the pool, “Allen! Allen!” Lavi shook Allen by the shoulders, “Call 911! Somebody please! Allen get up!” He attempted chest compressions unsure of what exactly he was supposed to do. He held Allen’s nose, pressed his lips to Allen’s trying to force air in his lungs. Lavi was terror stricken as tried more than once to give Allen CPR, flustered he got up and picked up Allen. He felt limp in Lavi’s arms and Lavi ran back to the house and then through the house shouting at the wasted crowd to move so he could get through to the front door. 

The ambulance met Lavi at the door, an EMTs quickly grabbed Allen from Lavi and put him on a gurney. 

“He ain’t breathing! Wake him up!” Lavi shouted to the EMTs as they pushed him into the back of the ambulance.

A light shined in Lavi’s eyes, “Sir, are you injured?” another EMT asked. “What’s your name?”   
“Sir, can you hear me?” He was being pushed into a second ambulance and laid on a gurney as well, realization hit him and he began to struggle. “You have to keep me with him!” Lavi shouted pushing the EMT back.

“Sir are you under the influence of any drug? I need you to lie still, sir.” the man told him. “How did you injure your--!” Lavi unintentionally struck the man as he tried to get up again only to be forced back and strapped down. 

“Allen!!Allen!” he screamed as they shut the doors of the ambulance and began to drive. 

 

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Allen scratched at the chain on his neck, the metal was beginning to rub his skin raw from days of constant wear. The door to the basement opened and down came Road tumbling down the stairs, landing with a thud on her back. She was crying noisily as she struggled to get her feet. 

“Come here.” Allen said as he held out his arms to her. She rushed to him and Allen was able to see her freshly bruised face, teeth imprints in her bare arms and a still bleeding cut on her shoulder. “Ssh. Try to be quiet Road. We don’t want him back down here today.” Allen said to her trying his best to soothe her. 

Krory’s chains stirred angrily in the corner as he got up, “Stop whining Road damn! You should be use to this shit by now. This is the only life we lead now.” 

“You’re not helping you know.” Allen said as he watched Krory drag chain as close to the window as it would allow him.

“You’re not helping you know.” Krory mimicked. ”Shut the fuck up Allen, trying to sugar shit isn’t helping either. A hug and a kiss ain’t gonna make the pedos go away, and it sure as hell ain’t gonna make her feel better.” 

“Well be a fucking asshole about it ain’t exactly nurturing either!” Allen snapped back as he rubbed Road’s back. 

“Look around you genius! None of this shit is nurturing! Far from it! Oh but let me kiss away the cum stains on your face to make you feel better, here, come to good ol’ uncle Krory and let me wipe the blood off of your thighs.” Krory said with a bitter smile holding his arms out comically towards Road.

“That’s not fucking funny!” Allen said through clenched teeth. “Don’t listen at him Road.”

“Yeah that’s right don’t listen to the only honest motherfucker in this room. We ain’t getting out of here Allen, unless we go out like Miranda!” Krory kicked at the bowl Cross gave him for water, that hadn't been filled for a while. 

Allen looked on with anger in his eyes as he watched Krory pace back and forth as far as the chain would allow. He touched Road’s head and it felt sticky, he looked down at Road who had suddenly stopped moving. Allen let his arm drop so he could get a better look at her face, and there were maggots crawling from where her eyes should have been. Allen threw the now heavy body on the floor and stood up. Krory suddenly dropped to the floor and violently thrashed about making guttural noises as blood poured out in thick waves from every crevice on his face. 

“...Allen….” Road crawled on the floor towards him. “...help me…” she said as her dangling flesh dragged the ground beside her. Allen’s heart was racing, he frantically grabbed at the chain around his neck trying to get it off. His eyes widened as Road stood up and began to reach for him, he screamed. 

“Road get back, please stay back!” he was backed into a corner, his hands became bloodied as he still clawed at the chain around his neck. 

“...Allen….” she reached out to touch him but a jolt of light made him go limp and the room turn white and empty for a split second.   
It then returned to back to the basement and Road was in his face, he could see down the empty socket of her eye, he could see the rotting flesh begin to fall off her face.

Another jolt of light and the room emptied again and turned white, he saw flashes of the pool, of Lavi, of Kanda. He tried to call out but all he could do was cough up water. The room darkened once more and Road’s face met him in the darkness as she bit into his flesh spilling maggots from her crevices.

 

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Lavi sat out in waiting room, patched up and afraid; his hands shook violently as he waited for Komui to arrive. He still had on his wet clothes so the the cold air blasting on him wasn’t helping him as he shivered and worried about his friends well-being. 

“Lavi!” Komui said as he came rushing down the hall. “What happened!?”

Lavi stuttered and shivered trying to get out his story, hoping the unreadable expression on Komui’s face wasn't anger. Komui put his arm around Lavi, “Why aren’t you out of this wet clothes? You’re gonna get sick!” 

Komui took Lavi to the nurses station to ask for set of clothes or a blanket, “It’s gonna be okay Lavi. Allen will pull through.Thanks to you he has more than a fighting chance.” Komui tried to reassure Lavi as he draped cover over Lavi, try to relax. 

“I can’t relax Komui it’s my fault! He didn’t wanna go! He wanted to stay at home.” Lavi said leaning into Komui’s shoulder as he began to cry, “I keep fucking everything up.” 

Komui stroked Lavi’s still dripping hair, “I promise you, you did more than enough tonight to ensure that Allen will live. There is nothing you’ve done wrong.” 

“I was high on pills and drunk and I made him drink too...I just wanted him to have fun, to loosen up a bit. I didn’t know he couldn’t swim! He wasn’t breathing when I pulled him from the pool.” Lavi sputtered. 

“You’re fine, it’s okay.” Komui didn’t know what else to tell him, he didn’t know what the outcome of Allen would be but he had to worry about Lavi at the moment. “We need to get you something else to put on now.” Komui said once again, urging the nurse at the desk to look for anything that would get him out of those wet clothes. Finally he was handed some clothes which he gave to Lavi to go change into. While he stood outside the bathroom door, waiting for Lavi to change, he called Kanda. 

 

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

The phone vibrated on the nightstand, it continued to ring even as it vibrated off the table and hit the floor.   
Kanda just turned over and buried himself deeper in his blankets.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really trying to speed up writing the story, I'm ready to get to the good parts now. Sorry I write so slow.

Repeated, aggravated ringing of the doorbell is what woke Kanda up from his sleep. He groaned as he rolled over to reach for his phone to check the time, but he couldn't see it through half lidded eyes that he didn't want to open. The ringing stopped for a moment and Kanda let out a sigh and dove back underneath the cover. No sooner had he gotten comfortable, the ringing had begun again. He threw the covers back angrily and went to the front door, he opened it to see a smiling Lenalee with a greasy bag full of food on his step.

"Good morning!" she exclaimed while stepping in to hug Kanda. Kanda shuttered at the touch of her cold hands on his bare back. 

"Good morning." he replied through clenched teeth.  
"What are you doing here?" 

Lenalee walked inside and made her way to the kitchen table. "Well I haven't seen one of my closest friends in a while." She looked over her shoulder at Kanda who still stood at the open door., "That would mean you."   
She walked over to him with a bagel in hand, "So I took it upon myself to come over and bring breakfast so we could catch up."   
She put the bagel close to Kanda's' lips, "Bite..."

Kanda glared at her as bit into the bagel, "How did you know I was off?" 

"I asked Tyki." She told him leaving the the bitten bagel in Kanda's hands, and going back to the table and finished pulling the food out. Kanda shut the door and stood in the threshold of the kitchen

"Here come and sit with me." Lenalee beckoned him as she poured and then sipped from one of the two cups of coffee. 

"Lemme go put on a shirt first." Kanda told her and disappeared back down the hall to his room. He found a rumpled shirt in a pile beside his bed and threw it on. He looked around the nightstand for his phone and found it underneath the bed. He pressed the home button but the phone didn't light up. 

'My charger is in the kitchen.' he thought and took it back with him to the kitchen.

He plugged it in and pressed the on button before he sat down with Lenalee and began to eat.

"So what's been up with work lately?" Kanda asked.  
"Same old, same old." Lenalee replied. "You?"   
"Same..." Kanda replied and sipped slowly on his coffee.

Lenalee looked up from her food at Kanda, "Oh my God! You make everything so awkward!" 

"Well what do you want me to say!? You just woke me up!" Kanda told her while spreading cream cheese lazily on the bagel in front of him. “The sunshine is shining and I live in a bed of roses!” Kanda added sarcastically.  
Lenalee mentally rolled her eyes at him as she took another sip of coffee. “Well, I take it you had no plans for today?”

“No not really.” Kanda grumbled still annoyed at the fact that she was in his house.

“Do you wanna go shopping with me today?” Lenalee questioned, “You know since you’re not busy and all.” She leaned closer to Kanda and smiled up at him. Just as he was about to deny her request his phone began to vibrate with tons of missed calls and messages. 

Kanda got up from the table, “What the hell?” he exclaimed as he picked up his phone. “I have twelve missed calls all from Komui and some other number. He left a ton of voicemails, you wouldn’t happen to know what he wants do you?” He asked turning to Lenalee who just shrugged her shoulders and stirred her coffee. 

Kanda pressed redial on his phone and before the third ring was finished Komui answered, “Where the hell have you been!? Do you know how many times I’ve called you since last night!?” 

“Whoah, whoah!” Kanda said, “What’s going on? What did you want?”

“I was calling to tell you Allen is in the hospital again, he almost drowned last night at a party with Lavi, he’s stable now but he was touch and go for a while. He hasn’t woken up yet, but I just assumed that you would want to be here for him, since you two are somewhat close.” Komui told him, not bothering to hide the edge in his voice. 

“Drowned!! How? What was going on? Whe---Nevermind I’ll be there shortly. Text me the room number, I’m on my way.” Kanda said hanging up on Komui, and rushing back to his room to throw on some better clothes. 

“What’s going on?” Lenalee asked following Kanda back to his room as she watched him throw around rumpled clothes till he finally decided on something. 

“Allen is in the hospital.” Kanda pushed pass Lenalee and back up to the kitchen to grab his phone, then to the living room to slide into his shoes. 

“Why? What did he do this time?” Lenalee said, trying to hide disdain in her voice as she slowly gather her things out of the kitchen, watching Kanda race out of the door.

“Apparently he almost drowned, but I don’t know the details. Lock up for me please. Call you later.” Kanda rushed out and slammed the door, leaving Lenalee standing at the kitchen table eyes attempting to burn a hole through the door.

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

 

Lavi slept uncomfortably in the chair opposite Allen’s hospital bed, still shivering from the events of the previous night. 

“Lavi..” Komui leaned over towards him to get him to sit up. “Lavi.” He shook him harder. 

Lavi stretched and groaned from exhaustion, “Allen awake?” 

“No he’s still sleeping.” Komui told him, “I want to ask you something Lavi and be honest please.” Komui paused and looked at Allen sleeping on the bed. “Last night, did you two get into anything….illegal?” 

Lavi turned his gaze ahead of him, “Allen didn’t, he just had a few drinks.”  
“And you?” Komui pushed. Lavi looked up at him with a knowing glance, “Just a few pills, nothing crazy.” 

“Hm,nothing crazy.” Komui repeated, “Nothing crazy like shooting up? I saw the marks last night before you changed.”

Lavi bundled himself in the blanket, “Ok, so I started shooting up again. Not a big deal, it only happened a couple of times recently. I’m still clean-ish.” He closed his eyes, to avoid the disapproving look he knew Komui was giving him. 

“How do you expect me to help you out if you keep doing this? You get clean for a while and next thing you know I’m finding needles stuffed under your bed again.

“You went in my room!” Lavi spun around. 

“No,but that proves my point doesn’t it? How do you expect me to keep you around the other people in the house? If this continues on, I will be forced to kick you out.” Komui explained. 

Lavi got up from his chair, “Where do you expect me to go? I have no where!”

“You could always reconcile with your past and move in with your parents or uncle.” Komui suggested.

“Reconcile!” Lavi stepped dangerously close to Komui, and spoke in a low tone, “You want me to reconcile with the fucker who sold me to pay his debt? You want me to forgive the people who didn’t believe me?” 

Komui placed a calming hand on one of Lavi’s shoulders, “Maybe you could take up some counseling--” 

“Get your goddamn hands off me!” Lavi pushed Komui against the wall and stormed out of the room. 

Komui sighed and walked out behind him, hoping to catch up with him; only to find himself running into a winded Kanda coming around the corner from the nurses station. 

“Is he okay!” Kanda shouted and grabbed Komui by the shoulder.

“Shhh. Keep it down.” a nurse warned. 

“He’s fine, he’s a sleep. Just down the hall there.” Komui pointed, “Excuse me, I have to go look after Lavi.”

Kanda ran the rest of the way to the room until he stood in the doorway greeted by the rhythmic beep of the heart monitor. He walked into the room, picking up the blanket from off the floor. He folded it and placed it on the end of the bed. Kanda reached out and fixed the covers on Allen. 

“How come you always get caught up in these kind of situations?” Kanda whispered to the sleeping man as he pushed a few stray hairs off of his face. 

Kanda turned and pulled the chair closer to the bed, where he sat for two hours waiting for Allen to wake up. 

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::  
Even though they were inside the warm garage, the bars on cage was cold, there was barely any room to breathe with him and Krory squeezed tightly inside.   
The client poke a riding crop through one of the bars and touched Allen’s face. Allen turned abruptly, the client did the same to Krory, who in return bit down on it and tore it from the man’s hand. 

“I like that one!” he laughed handing the money over to Cross, “I’ll have plenty of fun with these two.”

“Are you sure you can hand the both of them?” Cross asked. “I don’t want either one of them escaping, it’d be horrible for business.”

“Please, these two are nothing but mangy mutts, nothing a bullet between the eyes can’t fix.” The client responded sounding sure of himself. 

“You’ll be charged extra for any permanent damage either one of them sustain. You know that right?” Cross assured him and walked back outside of the garage. 

The client brushed him off and opened the cage, “Behave.” He warned as he stepped back and picked up his riding crop.

Allen hesitantly crawled out, careful to keep on all fours.This man always treated them like animals, Krory came out behind him, his head hung in shame. 

“Are my babies hungry?” The client asked as he dropped two bowls on the floor. Allen watched him as he reached into a bag on the table and pull out a can of dog food. 

‘He can’t be serious.’ Allen thought. The man tossed the contents of the can into the bowl, “Eat up.”

Krory and Allen shared a look between each other, “I said eat!” The man repeated. Allen crawled towards the bowl a little and looked up at the man. “Go on now.” He urged. 

Krory remained defiantly by the door of the cage, “You deaf! Get over here now!” He whistled and patted his leg for Krory to come. Allen watched scared of what could happen if Krory didn’t move. 

“Mm, okay.” the client said and went back to the bag he had brought. He pulled out a pair of thick gloves and put them on. He reached back inside and pulled out a length of barbed wired. The client looked down towards Allen, “Are you a good boy?” 

Allen through his face into the dog bowl in front of him and pretended to eat, “Good Boy!” the client praised. 

“Now you…” he walked slowly to Krory. “Are you gonna be a good boy?” Allen watched a flash of fear cross Krory’s eyes before he became defiant again. “Have it your way then.” 

The client reared back and lashed Krory, Allen could see bits of flesh get attached to the wire and rip as the man pulled back again. Krory hollered and rolled on the ground. 

“Bad dogs must be taught a lesson!” He hit Krory repeatedly, more and more patches of skin began to go flying. Krory curled in on himself for protection and cried loudly like a dying animal. The client wiped the sweat from his forehead as he knelt down and tied Krory’s hands and feet with the same barbed wire. Allen forced the dog food down his throat as the man walked back over to his bag. He shook and cried violently with fear, as the man turned his attention to him.   
The client knelt beside him,and rubbed his back. “All that work has done something to me.” He told Allen pushing his hand down the back of Allen’s shorts. Allen looked at the man, “You’re shaking like a bitch in heat, let me help you.” 

He pushed Allen over on his back and slowly pulled off his shorts. He pried open Allen’s legs and knelt down. He brushed his face on the skin on Allen’s thighs, he hoisted Allen up further and licked his at his entrance. The man’s tongue sloppily lapped him up, then he inserted two fingers to stretch Allen’s opening. Allen closed his eyes and winced at the intrusion. 

‘I hope this is over soon.’ Allen thought as he tried to block out the man and Krory’s bellowing from across the room. 

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

 

Lenalee had not yet left Kanda’s house, instead she found herself lying beneath the covers of his bed and snuggled up to one of his pillows. She smiled as she rolled in the lingering scent of sweat and cologne. Lenalee slid her hand beneath another pillow closest to her and her hand touched something small and cold. She sat up in the bed and brought the object out in view. It was a necklace, a locket to be more specific; Lenalee opened it and stared at the photo inside. The photo was of Alma and Kanda arms tangled around one another in happiness. 

Lenalee flung the necklace across the room hoping it would get buried beneath the mounds of clothes in the corner.   
“I don’t know why he insists on holding onto that when he could easily have me?” She scoffed as she got off the bed and walked back to the living room. 

‘Maybe that’s why...because he can easily get you.’ Lenalee thought as she cleaned up the remnants of the failed breakfast date.

“It’s not as if I’m just throwing myself on him.” She continued, after she’d finished cleaning and grabbed her belongings.

‘You showed up unannounced at his house this morning for starters, you ramble in his house when he’s not here. You’ve been deleting or destroying anything in this house that even looks like it’s going to pose a threat…’ She told herself on the way to the door.

“Shut up you.” Lenalee said shaking her to try and clear the thoughts as she walked out of the house.

 

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Allen’s eyes fluttered rapidly as he opened them to blinding hospital lights. He slowly eased up in the bed, his body ached in every inch and crevice. He looked to the right of him at the machine monitoring his heart rate and the cords tangling their way to the bed and in his arm. Looking to the other side of him saw Kanda dozed off, his head rested on his chest uncomfortably. Allen smiled down at him, Lavi was wrong, he does care.’

“Mr. Walker, nice to see you’re awake. I’m your nurse today, how are you feeling?” The nurse walked over to the machine and wrote somethings down on a notepad then smiled up at him.  
“I’m fee-” Allen sounded hoarse, he cleared his throat and tried it again, “I’m feeling okay. My head and chest hurt a little but it’s alright.” 

“Let me know if you feel any more discomfort other than that okay? So who is this?” The nurse asked motioning to Kanda, as she began to remove cords from Allen’s arm and chest.

“A friend---I think.” Allen said hesitantly. 

“Well, you’d better find out. Anyone who would risk getting a crick in their neck, had better be a friend.” She chuckled and left out the room, promising to return with water in a few minutes.

Allen got up from the bed on Kanda’s side and bent down in front of him, tapping him lightly on the leg. “Kanda..” he whispered. 

Kanda didn’t stir, Allen moved behind him and began to play with his hair. He was curious and couldn’t help himself. He pulled gently at the hairband and the stray strands that hung outside of the low messy ponytail Kanda wore. Allen started at Kanda’s bangs and ran his nails slowly through his scalp continuously. Kanda began to groan lowly in his sleep every time Allen’s short nails touched his scalp. 

“What are you doing?” a rough looking Lavi said standing in the doorway. Kanda began to stretch and Allen quickly moved away from him to go stand beside Lavi.

“Nothing.” Allen responded looking up to a stone faced Lavi. 

Kanda stood up and stretched further, his hair billowed around him as he rubbed his neck as he turned around.   
“Allen.” Kanda walked over and hugged him. “Glad to see you up and about, even though I don’t think you should be.” 

“Doesn’t matter what you think.” Lavi said, “you don’t care about him. You don’t even return his calls.” He pulled Allen back out of the Kanda’s arms.

“Lavi..” Allen said pushing Lavi off him. 

“It’s true and you know it.” Lavi confirmed, “Don’t start defending him now that he’s here. How many times have called him and gotten the answering machine?”

“That’s--” Allen stopped, Lavi was right but Kanda was still his friend too. He turned his attention to Kanda. 

“My answering machine hasn’t been working right and I been working so much lately that I haven’t had time for anything other than sleep. I just got a message from you yesterday.” Kanda replied.

Allen offered a small smile, “Well I’m glad you’re here now. Here,” he held out his hand with the hair band in it, “this is yours.” 

Lavi rolled his eyes, “Nurse said you could be discharged from here by--

“So what happened last night guys?” Kanda asked cutting Lavi off.

“I went to this party with Lavi and--” 

“Got drunk, almost drowned, end of story.” Lavi said cutting off Allen, who shot a glare in Lavi’s direction. 

“You went to a party?” Kanda said blatantly ignoring Lavi. “How was it?”

“Aside from near drowning and excessive drinking, not bad.” Allen replied. “I don’t even remember how I got to the pool.” Allen went and sat back on his bed, he chest was beginning to hurt him again.

Kanda followed him and was about to sit back in his chair, before Lavi jumped in it and smiled up at Kanda. 

Kanda closed his eyes for a moment and silently wished to wrap his hands around Lavi’s neck, “Well I’m glad you’re alright. I’m gonna go now, but call me whenever I do my best to try and answer.”

 

::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::

Two months had gone by….

Lavi and Allen found themselves in another party, time with Lavi glued to Allen. Allen was dancing wildly enjoying himself, like at the many parties before. He held a drink in one hand and Lavi’s hand in the other. Lavi was riding a natural high being with Allen at this party. He promised himself that he would look after Allen better when he was with him. 

Allen laughed at the people in front of them who had gathered in a circle and were doing outlandish dances, and Lavi smiled knowing that this is the happiest he ever sees Allen.   
The party ended and a drunk but happy Allen walked back home with Lavi’s arm around as guidance. 

“I’m gonna need some aspirin when we get home. I can tell.” Allen slurred, “I shouldn’t have drunk so much.” 

“You were enjoying yourself.”Lavi told him.

“You always say that.” Allen said. 

“Who am I to stop you from being happy and enjoying yourself.” Lavi replied. 

“Did you have fun Lavi? I don’t remember you drinking or doing your usual number.” Allen asked.

“I was enjoying your company.” Lavi smiled at Allen, who then stepped away from Lavi and stared at him. 

“What?” Lavi questioned. Allen shook his head and the two walked back to house in silence. 

 

Once inside their shared room, Lavi searched his dresser for aspirin, finding what he assumed was the pills he gave Allen two of them. 

“If you take these now it might stave off the worst of the headache in the morning. Here.” He gave them to Allen who took them dry and laid on his bed by the window. 

“Do you think he’ll call tomorrow?” Allen asked as Lavi switched off the lights and laid in his own bed. 

“I don’t Allen goodnight.” Lavi told him coldly. 

“Well maybe I should--” 

“Good night Allen, sleep you ramble when you’re drunk.” Lavi said and closed his eyes. 

“Okay.” 

An hour later Allen jerked up from his sleep, he was sweating and restless. He ached between his legs and needed release. It was dark and he couldn’t see straight. He got up from the bed and removed his shirt, hoping to gain some relief from it. 

He heard Lavi’s soft rhythmic breathing and was drawn to it. Allen felt along in front of him until he touched the skin of his room mate. He caressed the bare chest of Lavi, as his eyes adjusted to the dark he leaned in and placed his mouth in the crook of Lavi’s neck and sucked slowly. 

Lavi moaned appreciatively, and opened his eyes. “Allen!” he exclaimed. “Dude what are you doing?” 

Allen didn’t reply he just moved in closer trying to reattach his lips to Lavi’s skin. “Allen stop. You don’t know what you’re doing, I must have given you the wrong pill.” Lavi pushed Allen back off of him and towards his bed. As Allen backed up he threw himself backwards on the bed and pulled Lavi atop of him, locking him in place by wrapping his legs around him.   
“Allen you -” Allen’s tongue had found itself inside of Lavi’s mouth, and Lavi found himself fighting not to give in. They broke for breath and Allen looked at Lavi with wanting eyes. He began to rotate his hips beneath Lavi, Lavi was trying his damndest trying not to give in. 

“Please..” Allen begged, and pulling Lavi’s hand to the bulge in his pants. Lavi began to slowly rub again the fabric. Allen shuddered and moaned, struggling to undo the button to his jeans. 

“Just this once, I’ll help you. It’s mostly my fault anyways.” Lavi told him as he undid the button and slid the jeans off of Allen. Lavi reached inside Allen’s boxers and pulled out his rock hard dick. He started long slow strokes watching Allen tense with everyone. Lavi licked his lips and went down. His lips were wet with pre cum before he could get Allen’s dick in his mouth. He rested a hand on the inside of Allen’s thigh as he began to suck him off. Eventually Allen grabbed the back of Lavi’s head and pushed him down further .Lavi choked for a minute trying to adjust this throat to the sudden intrusion and then began to work his tongue all around Allen’s dick as Allen’s hand guided him up and down. Allen removed his hand and Lavi continuing until he felt the cum hit the back of his throat multiple times and Allen lay spent from the blowjob. 

Lavi left Allen lying there practically running to the bathroom for a cold shower.


End file.
